power - based relationships in a leathersex
(preferably) characterized by power exchange
, this can be a means to many
Within the arena of leather/BDSM:
Many individuals find pleasure in giving or accepting or directing service.
Others may identify more readily with sensation based sexplay (which may or
may not look like traditional SM or sex magic).
Also, for many people explicitly mixing power into relationship is a means of
delimiting power dynamics into an area that's been negotiated and therefore
offers more safety.
Many people involved in power exchange find that their primary relationship
is not conducive to edge play or master - slave dynamics. Vi
Johnson writes about this in her book To Love, To Obey, To Serve: Diary
of an Old Guard Slave. This account of her lover giving her to another
mistress as a bound slave is echoed in the experiences of many leatherfolk
who have found that what is involved or required in the ongoing work of
long term relationship may not be compatible with the work of power exchange.
On reflecting, I think this is a simple matter, people are usually are less
likely to take risks when there's more at stake. Why does the scene community
put such an (anal?) emphasis on safety?. After all, compared to other
activities, (e.g. driving, skiing, motorcycling ..) the quantitative
risks are pretty small. So maybe a scar isn't a big deal in those contexts,
but a bigger deal if it's been delivered by someone you love, the moreso
if that person is your primary partner?
To the more analytically minded, people are generally risk averse and
furthermore demonstrate a risk averse utility function.
Now I really wasn't thinking about BDSM when I wrote this node. Honest. Ok, maybe just a little, most of my nodes
have been about leather / altsex subjects, but really I was thinking about
network and server security issues, which is part of how I make my humble living.
Or perhaps more honestly, I am drawn to leathersex and the security side of
sysadmin work for related reasons. I love to explore all things complex,
and things that are complex and essential can never be guaranteed to be
safe but also don't want them to be catastrophically dangerous.