A plate o' crumpets is what I like to have with my cup o' tea. According to the crumpet writeup by Tem42, a crumpet is "a flat cake, maybe 4 inches across, and 3/4 of an inch high, and it's full of air bubbles. It's not as dry as an english muffin. It's not as 'humid' as a pancake."

- /===========\
/ = | 0 o o |
1 | - \___O____0__/
in.{ - /===========\/===o=======\
| - | 0 0 o|| o o |
\ = \__o_____o__/\_____8_____/
- /===========\/===========\/=======8===\
- | 0 o o|| o O || 0 |
- \__8_O___0__/\___o_____8_/\_o______o__/
= \----------------------------------------/
|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|
/\
= 1 in.
FIG. 1 - A Typical Plate O' Crumpets (for use with
FIG. 2)
NOTES: The 8,0,o,O's represent bubbles.

This would make a typical plate o' crumpets (fig. 1) a fairly significant accompaniment to a cup of tea (fig. 2). If we assume the typical mass of a crumpet to be, for instance, 5 oz., and since the plate may be assumed to be symmetrical, so that the bottom layer is 3x3, the middle is 2x2, and the top is 1x1. Using eq. 1, this yields a total number of crumpets (*n*) of *n=1*1+2*2+3*3=1+4+9=14*. The weight of a plate of crumpets may be found using eq. 2.

n = sum(1,x,sqr(s(i)))
EQU. 1 - Number of Crumpets on a Plate.
W = n*w + p
EQU. 2 - Weight of a Plate of Crumpets

By evaluating eq. 2, we find that the total weight of our plate of crumpets is: W=n*w + p=14*5oz + 15oz=85oz. From this it is trivial to calculate the nutritional content. Of course, you wouldn't eat the entire thing at once. Oh, no. A crumpet is a thing to be savored.