perfect glass of wine

1. Nobody says anything about the bathroom.
2. People in my family brought over food,
3. they stand around in uncomfortable 
4. groups, gathered around the veggie
5. tray and fruit plate, nibbling on 
6. celery while trying to think
7. of something to say that
8. will maintain the proper
9. tone without upsetting
10. anyone, like me.

1. There's no such thing as a healthy
2. obsession, I've written about this
3. before, but let me reiterate it
4. another time so everyone is
5. clear. Healthy people don't
6. redo their bathroom just
7. because they think that
8. someone else might
9. be stopping by for 
10. a glass of wine.

1. It started with a bath. I sank into
2. my pile of bubbles wondering if
3. he preferred red, or white. As
4. I made a list I was thinking,
5. this shower curtain would
6. never do, I thought to 
7. myself as I separated
8. the cloth from its
9. sharp metal
10. fastenings.

1. I felt better when I had finished 
2. painting the trim. New towels,
3. I had spent quite a bit of 
4. time researching which 
5. ones were going to
6. dry the quickest,
7. another sip, I
8. savored it
9. slowly,
10. calmly.

1. Minimalism would make him fall for me,
2. this was another lie I told myself as I
3. bundled up things I had recently
4. purchased, nothing was good 
5. enough for him, I made trip
6. after trip to the thrift store,
7. dropping off like new 
8. items on my quest
9. to give him peace
10. and tranqility.

1. Food was important, I know that we need
2. to eat which makes me wonder why I
3. skipped so many meals during my
4. remodeling high. No expense 
5. was spared. I bought new 
6. dishes, bedding, silk
7. sheets would be 
8. more fun than
9. the ones I 
10. had now.

1. Music was next on my list, you can't very
2. well enjoy the perfect glass of wine 
3. without selecting the notes that
4. accompany it, my neighbors
5. complained, actually, that
6. was just my imagination,
7. it gets away from me at
8. times. I left them a 
9. bottle of Chianti;
10. just for fun.

1. Greenery and nature are important to me,
2. maybe it would impress him if I learned
3. how to train a bonsai. When other
4. men asked me out I told them,
5. I'm not sure exactly what I
6. said, eventually they
7. stopped speaking to
8. me, at the time I 
9. was glad; more
10. time for him.

1. I had never ordered anything off of Amazon
2. before, but I thought he would be proud of
3. me if I tackled a fear of mine. Some day
4. the world will be a barren landscape of
5. Home Depot, Best Buy, & Starbucks;
6. I cried when I thought of small 
7. local stores like the one where
8. I worked going out of 
9. business, then I lost
10. my job.

1. Maybe you think that was a bad thing, but it gave
2. me a lot more time to plan. This glass of wine
3. was going to be perfect I told myself as I
4. sorted through stemware. I threw out
5. the clothes I had, it was time to 
6. reinvent myself, to become the
7. woman I knew that I could be.
8. Don't ask me why I bought
9. what I did, I thought he
10. would like more color.

1. Not eating, barely sleeping, losing the pitiful income
2. I had took a toll on me. The few friends I had gave
3. up on me; no calls, no texts, I didn't go on
4. Twitter, I quit writing entirely, the only 
5. thing that mattered was the perfect
6. glass of wine. The job loss was a
7. temporary setback I said to the
8. clerk as I handed over a credit
9. card I had opened for the
10. occasion.

1. Today I have a healthier relationship with reality.
2. My family came over to clean up the splatters
3. of blood that decorated my bathroom after I
4. did who knows what to myself when my
5. mind took its break from patching a 
6. hole in the wall behind the closet.
7. I didn't recognize my writing, 
8. but I guess he did. I wasn't
9. drunk, I was half dead,
10. but still mostly alive.

1. The other day my friend told me not to be too
2. embarrassed about what happened, I'm very
3. sensitive, probably more so than others 
4. realize, when I thought that he had a
5. girlfriend because I saw him coming
6. off the wrong exit of the freeway,
7. I didn't know how to cope with
8. that. Nobody was safe to talk
9. to, I kept everything inside,
10. until I couldn't.

1. Mental illness isn't the easiest topic to write about,
2. but if I choose to remain silent other may think
3. that they're the only people who are suffering.
4. This isn't true. If I can recover, and go on
5. to reclaim the job I had, get help from
6. qualified professionals, and turn my
7. life around very slowly, there's 
8. hope and help for others too,
9. Maybe one day I'll even pour
10. you an (imperfect) glass of wine. 

1. PSA - There is no such thing as a healthy obsession.

***

This is the original version for your comparison purposes:

1. Perfection and our chase for it
2. has been well documented
3. over the course of history.
4. Wine comes in different
5. colors, perhaps you have
6. a preference. Possibly you
7. have a budget, that may
8. determine whether your
9. wine comes to you in a 
10. bottle, box, or bag.

1. The perfect glass of wine
2. is a ritual for me. First a
3. bath; this may necessitate
4. the need to redecorate my
5. bathroom, but this is the
6. perfect glass of wine, not
7. the really good, or the best.
8. Redecorating requires 
9. research, I find that wine
10. helps this process along.

1. After my bath I'm comfortable
2. and relaxed. Now it's time to
3. get dressed. When my friend
4. asks why I'm spending that
5. kind of money on lingerie 
6. when I'm single I tell her
7. that I'm the most important
8. person in my life, I love me,
9. and I demonstrate that by
10. wearing things I really like.

1. Now that I'm clean and dressed
2. I can move toward food. Drinking
3. on an empty stomach causes one
4. to become intoxicated more
5. quickly, strictly speaking wine
6. is a carbohydrate, alcohol is
7. absorbed into the bloodstream
8. so I make sure there are fats
9. and protein on my platter.
10. Pecans, chocolate, caviar?

1. Fresh flowers are always a nice
2. touch, I prefer the kind that
3. are attached to a plant, serving
4. an orchid along with whatever
5. else has been planned pretties
6. up the plate, sometimes it's fun
7. to scatter petals around, I like
8. to fling them up in the air and
9. watch them descend, each
10. delicate object floats, and falls.

1. Sound is another element that
2. must be considered. Music
3. varies with the varietals. I
4. experiment to determine which
5. flavors go best with each genre.
6. Generally speaking I feel as if
7. richer and more complex music
8. pairs better with deeper darker
9. reds, but there are times when
10. a lighter white is a fun contrast.

1. The area must be temperate,
2. neither too warm, not overly
3. chilly. Room temperature 
4. wine appeals to me more 
5. than the refrigerated kind.
6. Stemware is another 
7. category, with some 
8. forgoing the stem all
9. together. But my hand is
10. small so I prefer the stalk.

1. I can spend long hours by
2. myself; picking out paint
3. for my bathroom, choosing
4. the perfect toweling, I find
5. that striped Turkish towels  
6. are lightweight, playing
7. with the fringe can be fun,
8. and they dry quickly. I
9. decide to redo my apartment
10. so only the essentials remain.

1. By now I've invested thousands
2. of dollars, hundreds of hours,
3. written millions of words, put 
4. together dozens of puzzles, 
5. things are coming together.
6. I hear the door, footsteps,
7. I receive a smile, neither of us
8. speaks, is kissing its own
9. language? I ask because
10. I'm learning new sounds.

1. Evening shadows chase 
2. daylight from my place.
3. We're lying next to each
4. other, silently contemplating
5. whatever is on our minds
6. at the time. When he 
7. chooses to speak I'm told
8. that he can't believe I 
9. went to all of this trouble
10. for a single glass of wine.

1. Maybe I didn't have to
2. redo my master bath, it
3. may have been overkill
4. to graph out where the
5. dishes were to be set,
6. I probably didn't need
7. to ruthlessly declutter,
8. or purchase silk sheets, 
9. but, pleasure in the job
10. puts perfection in the work.

1. For a very special someone;
2. Xoxo
3. J
4. P.S. You may have heard
5. that perfection is a chase
6. and practice is the only
7. way to approach this
8. elusive goal. Fortunately
9. for us, we are both 
10. extremely dedicated.