net send

A network messaging application. A wonderful toy, useful for propagating terror and paranoia throughout the computer lab. Can also be used for flirting, chatting during class, and spreading rumours with remarkable speed and efficiancy. One drawback is the annoying beep that accompanies receiving a message.

Change the name of your computer to Microsoft and create a batch file to do the following:

net send * It has been detected that one or more Microsoft products on your system are illegal copies.

net send * You will be contacted shortly by the MS Anti Piracy Office for your area.

net send * Thankyou.

This is almost guaranteed to propagate the aforementioned terror and paranoia wherever it is used.