my dear friends

In memory of my old block, their asshole fathers, and lifes big dreams and the world's great imagination, and the rest of Philadelphia's outcasts

I never thought life would
come down to
this- like a clock's red second
tick
over white
and numbers spinning
out

he never
choked me, really
never threw me against the wall, at least
not too hard
but never
apologized
for mixing brain chemicals between oxygen
Or
letting it all be okay
Or
resting
between saliva droughts
and
heart throbs

he never choked back the dirty tongue
never cleaned the sleeve of
coughs

and would now rather
shoot the old
boyfriend for the cherry
Or
have the dick
Sucked,
and go downstairs to
leave this house

always travels in
brown boots
and
yellow soles

the mother crying from the fuck
the semen sold out

I regret to inform you that in spite of this,
some reversed child
tragedy,
bold was
I,
scrambled breath and
cereal sticky mouth
hair flat in the stale wind and
the television static muted out

it was always enough for me

watching outside
in the dark dark room
laughing with the monsters

staring through the window
the rain always talking
it asks,
“how’s the weather?”

watching a fly
pass blind and
heavy with blues
I fall in love watching it
smell for candy atoms then
sniffs out to the final
boot’s crunch

the stars shadowed out
the houses bright
the asphalt steely blue and
laying back

recreation
swings blowing silent above sand pits,
halted
now and never
borrowed from us
lonely in the world's night of
nothing

the swirling sarlacc holds his
action figures, sticking it out
with anorexic Barbies beneath with
painted horses
hair shimmering
sad

never quite thinking of the kids to come save them
to pull of their clothes and
kick pigeons

and
explore stoves

But
I think,
dying isn’t
so bad
to be shit out with the rest of
the bad
nature
with all the
dead flies

we all never had that much going for us,
Anyway