Troubles with pulverized soul?
Feelings of unknown nature ripping more flesh and blood than usual?
Questions never spoken nor answered?
Worthless having a heart?
Infinite black-holes sucking the life out of you?
Molting lava scourging every square inch of your chest?
Wishes that not even Santa can fulfill?
Is gravity the only thing that's keeping you aware of being alive?
HAVE NO FEAR! HEART-SOOTHER 2009 IS HERE!
NEWEST CREAM FOR SOUL AND HEART INJURIES!
Feel all your trouble wash away!
The special ingredients used to create this miraculous healing cream, have been carefully selected by experts, made out only of the purest heart, blasted through special last - minute technological processes of dessication and detonation in order to obtain finest heart powder. So fine that is invisible to the naked eye and cannot possibly return to its original form ever again!
555-H*E*A*R*T*L*E*S*S* AND TEARS WILL BURST NO MORE!
SUN WILL ONCE AGAIN SHINE INSIDE YOU!
HURRY UP AND YOUR SOUL WILL NEVER KNOW ANOTHER SEASON BESIDES SPRING!
DON'T JUST STAND THERE! ORDER NOW SO YOUR SOUL CAN HAVE THE CHANCE TO FOREVER BLOOM!