Date   : 1:04 am  Tue Dec 1, 1998         
From   : Cthulu                           
Base   :, glorious food
Subj   : eek.                             

I almost made macaroni and cheese using egg nog instead of milk.

merry   christmas!


While this repast might be justifiably renamed "Why not to cook while you're asleep" (a state which, in the past, has regrettably resulted in a pot of spaghetti going from just-in to on-fire in the subjective blink of an eye) it does raise some interesting taste possibilities.

The eternal explorer might well embark along the following (and highly dangerous, might I add) line of reasoning: "I like macaroni, and I like egg nog, so why not both at the same time?" The same logic inconceivably worked for the infamous Sodas' Ice Cream-Burger (two scoops of vanilla and a grilled patty on a sesame seed bun - not kosher in the 'boiling the baby in the milk of the mother' sense of thing, but still damned tasty) and recent experimentations in local cuisine have resulted in the entirely palatable discovery of egg nog-flavoured gelati (an italian ice cream, holding good company at La Casa Gelato with the flavours of rice, pumpkin, jack fruit, ginseng, cranberry vodka, tira misu, wasabe and garlic ginger, among hundreds of others) so upon retrospect, this might not be so bile-raising after all. Many people use milk in macaroni and cheese anyway (or sour cream - yum) so egg nog isn't such a huge transition.

A little egg never hurt anybody, and it's a fair bit safer than corn flakes with orange juice poured on top (another recipe which falls under the "Why not to cook while you're asleep - or rather, while you haven't woken up yet" school.)

To shelter the few gentle readers which may remain this far into the course of this account, I will forego the grizly process by which egg nog is produced (unless The Stranger's christmas supplement lied to me...) and will simply encourage the purchasing of mass-produced store-bought stuff. Similar advice will hold to the macaroni - the no-name brand stuff will do fine (boycott Kraft, remember, and help smoking companies keep their claws off countries that haven't heard of lung cancer) and in any case should be advocated to prevent the wasting of completely good food 8)

Warn the inhabitants of your house before preparing this meal, as I imagine the reek could be quite a number. Open windows, establish good ventilation, then go at it.


    one box macaroni and cheese
    1 tablespoon butter
    1/2 tablespoon salt
    1/2 litre egg nog
    Add salt and butter to pot of water, then bring to a boil. Withdraw the cheese packet from the box, then empty the contents of the macaroni and cheese box into the boiling water. Boil for ten minutes, stirring regularly without the lid on. When desired texture of macaroni is attained, remove pot from heat and drain. (Be careful - hot steam is marginally hotter than boiling water.)

    Open cheese packet and unceremoniously dump its contents somewhat evenly over the strained macaroni. Pour in the egg nog and mix it all up with a wooden spoon until there are no more orange lumpies visible - if you do come across any, just batter them relentlessly until they break apart. Stand back. Get some air if you need to.

    When you're ready, serve in small portions with parmesan cheese grated on top and a sprig of parsley for garnish.

    Add salt and pepper, cinnamon and nutmeg to taste.

To be served with mince tarts, mandarin oranges and garlic bread.

Recipe variants:

    1) Use Jell-o instant chocolate pudding mix instead of cheese powder, then, once it's mixed, put it in the refridgerator to solidify. Serve with sprinkles and Hershey's Kisses on top. Is this any worse than chocolate cheesecake?

    2) Quadruple the quantity of egg nog used, add it at boiling temperature and add tapioca mix to the pot after everything else is added. Stir out the lumps thoroughly and refridgerate for several hours before serving with sliced fruit (strawberries, kiwi) on top.

    3) Strain the prepared mixture of macaroni and cheese and egg nog with a cheesecloth and retain the fluid. Roll the pasta in a mixture of sugar and cinnamon and bake at 350 degrees for half an hour for a crispy treat. Serve with the sauce, chilled and with cloves added to it.

    4) Use the egg nog as the base for a white sauce with flour and save the cheese powder. Sneak the powder into your brother's bong and listen to the curses next time he lights up.

Visit the TabHouse next Christmas and I promise I won't serve any of these 8)

- a contribution from myself to the as-yet-unreleased Imbibe E-mag of recipes and food issue #1. I may have missed the Recipe Quest, but I'm sure some reaction will be provoked from its posting. Please keep in mind this reflects my culinary tastes (and grim sense of humour) as of over two years ago 8)

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