Top 12 things likely to be overheard if you had a Klingon programmer in your company.

  1. Specifications are for the weak and timid!
  2. This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need dual Pentium processors if I am to do battle with this code!
  3. You cannot really appreciate Dilbert unless you've heard it read in the original Klingon.
  4. Indentation?! -- I will show you how to indent when I indent your skull with my bat'leth!!
  5. What is this talk of "release"? Klingons do not make software releases. Our software "escapes," leaving a bloody trail of designers and testers in its wake.
  6. Klingon function calls do not have "parameters"- they have "arguments"- and they always win them!
  7. Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the weak.
  8. I have challenged the entire testing team to a Bat-Leth contest. They will not concern us again.
  9. A true Klingon Warrior does not comment his code
  10. By filing this incident report you have challenged the honour of my family. Prepare to die!
  11. You question the worthiness of my code?! I should kill you where you stand!
  12. Our users will know fear and cower before our software. Ship it! Ship it and let them flee like the dogs they are!

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