Isaac is Abraham's second son. His mother was Sarah. He is considered to be one of the three forefathers of Judaism. He was a bit of a douchebag.

Now for those of you unfamiliar with Isaac, let me fill you in. Abraham has two sons, Ishmael who he has with his maid, Hagar, and Isaac who he has with his wife. Now Ishmael's described in the torah as a wild kid. So Sarah, probably knowing that Isaac's the only kid she's going to have and probably also looking for a way the get Hagar away from her man, gives Abraham a little talking to one day. You see, Isaac was a timid kid, probably a bit impressionable, and with Ishmael screwin' around all day the wife starts getting worried. Either way Abraham never had much backbone either (like father like son) and Ishmael and mommy get sent to the desert to die (don't worry it all works out... sort of).

So a day soon comes when God gets up the nerve to ask Abraham to sacrifice his son. So Abraham, being the fanatical coward that he is, gets up early and takes Isaac to do the deed. Now some might not know this, but the talmud teaches that Isaac was 37 at the time... you can call it faith, I say it's yellow.

Now you'd think with a childhood like this that this kid's probably going to be all sorts of fucked up and you wouldn't be wrong. So the kid turns 40. His mom and dad die. He gets a wife, two kids, and then there's a famine. So he goes down to Gerar and, like father like son, pretends his wife's his sister so no one kills him over her. He lives there for a short while, the king figures out his little lie and calls him a dumbass, "and Isaac sowed in that land and reaped in the same year a hundredfold." It's easy. "The Lord blessed him".

So Isaac gets rich. And following his daddy's example he digs a few wells and when the Philistines come and muscle him out of them he just goes and digs another until they stop.

And so Jacob and Esau grow up. And the usual childhood stuff. Esau gets tired one day from hunting and so Jacob, being the good brother that he is, offers him a bowl of soup in exchange for the his birthright as the firstborn (by about 2 seconds mind you).

Then the day comes when the man gets old. "When Isaac was old and his eyes were dim so that he could not see, he called Esau his older son and said to him, 'My son', and he answered, 'Here I am.'" So he asks his favourite son to bring him a little meat. "...prepare for me delicious food, such as I love, and bring it to me so that I may eat, that my soul may bless you before I die." Esau does. He's mostly a good kid, but he forgot a deal he made with his brother Jacob. So while Esau's out Jacob sneaks in (with the help of his mother who loved him more) and takes the blessing he rightfully bought.

"May God give you of the dew of heaven

and of the fatness of the earth

and plenty of grain and wine.

Let peoples serve you,

and nations bow down to you.

Be lord over your brothers,

and may your mother’s sons bow down to you.

Cursed be everyone who curses you,

and blessed be everyone who blesses you!"

Jacob runs off. Esau comes back. The plot is revealed and Isaac's favourite son begs his father for a blessing before he dies. So he gives him the consolation prize:

"Behold, away from the fatness of the earth shall your dwelling be,

and away from the dew of heaven on high.

By your sword you shall live,

and you shall serve your brother;

but when you grow restless

you shall break his yoke from your neck."

Isaac probably died unhappy. The forefathers weren't great fathers. By favouring one son over the other Abraham creates a rivalry that persists today. Esau and Jacob, who just as easily could have shared that bowl of soup, meet on the battlefield after years of estrangement. And Jacob follows suit as 10 of his sons sell his favourite. But then something happens.

"And Isaac breathed his last, and he died and was gathered to his people, old and full of days."

But there's something missing here. Because while he may not have loved them both equally, they both loved him. The forefathers had the right idea about kindness and charity, but they had trouble bringing that message home with them. But it's really not just them, it's a theme among almost every Jewish leader; Moses who can't make time for his wife, the judge Eli, and king David who's sons rebel against them.

"And his sons Esau and Jacob buried him."

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