ironing board

A flat board usually covered with an ironing board cover on which clothes are laid while being ironed.

Purpose:
To keep the clothes flat while the the wrinkles are ironed out. Try ironing on a bumpy surface and you'll be praising the ironing board.

Shape:
Ironing boards (as far as I've seen) are usually shaped like a stubby crayon. The pointy end works out nicely for shirt sleeves and pant legs.

Types:
I've seen 3 major types of ironing board. Short-legged boards for table tops or counter tops. Long-legged boards for standing on the floor. And ironing boards that fold out of a closet or down from the wall. I've only seen this last type in comedies and cartoons, but they seem to be quite dangerous.


Here's my ASCII interpretation of a long-legged ironing board:

   ______________ 
 /'              |
(                |
 \.______________|
    \\. //\\ .// 
 m1a `\\.  .//.  
    // `\\//  \\ 
   ||  .//\\.  ||
   ||.//   `\\.||
   |//       `\\|
   ''          ``

Ironing boards are versatile and amazing creations! To merely mention that they're good for keeping things flat whilst you iron them is to do them a grave disservice.

Suppose, for instance, there it a lot of crap on your dining room table. You know...books, paperwork, unread mail, unpaid bills, perhaps some shoes and clothing, maybe a cat litter pan or two. Simply pull a chair up to your trusty ironing board and tahdah! You can procrastinate clearing off your other table for at least one more day.

Or! Suppose there's a terrible hurricane and your house floods, and you hadn't evacuated earlier because you didn't want to miss the spin cycle on your washing machine, which has been running. An ironing board and a paddle make a perfect getaway raft! Out your front door and down the watery street to safety!

And what if your loyal family pet Fido breaks a hip? How is the poor darling supposed to get up and down from the couch? Jump? No, not anymore! But, a carefully placed ironing board doubles as a canine handicapped-access ramp. You're thoughtful and thrifty!

Growing up in the city without a lot of money to toss around? Wish you had a slide in your wading pool? Drag your plastic swimming hole into the driveway. Go get the handy ironing board out of the closet, prop it up against the Volkswagen at an adventurous (but not daredevil!) angle, put the wide end into the water, and voila! Will your friends be envious!