Hamdingers made its way into Mystery Science Theater 3000
history in the episode Mitchell
, starring the ever-doughy Joe Don Baker
. This episode was especially moving, because longtime host and creator of the show, Joel Hodgson
, decided to call it quits. Onetwothree... sob.
Obviously, the writers of the show needed a clever way to write him off of the Satellite of Love and back home on earth. They ran out of ideas. So they wrote in an escape pod that went unnoticed for years because it was behind a box marked "hamdingers." (Oddly enough, the escape pod was labeled, "Deus Ex Machina." Ha ha, get it???)
Since that episode, many a MSTie have always wondered what exactly a hamdinger was. Several episodes and a movie make mention of them again, and so finally the good people at Best Brains (who create the show) gave a very vague answer: something to do with terrible frozen ham sandwiches and microwaves.
With that lead, recipes were invented and spread all across the internet. This is the best one I've found:
GRAMMA RAFF'S HEARTY HAMDINGERS
"From the Old Country"
***accept no substitutes***
contributed by email@example.com (Gypsy Rose Me)
You will need:
*domestic boiled ham slices (you know, the perfectly rectangular ones?)
*cream cheese, with onions and chives wherever possible
*Bacon bits (the fake kind...not the kind that's really bacon.
*a knife, suitable for spreading the cream cheese
*another knife, this one sharp enough to cut the finished Hamdinger
*a cutting board, countertop, or other flat surface you don't mind getting all spoogey
Preparing the Hamdingers:
Each Hamdinger is a creation unto itself, a unique work of culinary art.
First, take one slice and pat the ham dry, as a slippery Hamdinger is nobody's friend. Spread a thick, even layer of cream cheese on the ham slice, making sure you carry the cheese all the way to the edges of the slice. Roll the ham slice tightly, in a Ho-Ho fashion. Take the sharper knife and cut the ham slice into bite-sized pieces...yields usually 6 Hamdingers per slice of ham you roll up.
Serving your Hamdingers:
Arrange in some manner on a plate, making sure there are toothpicks nearby to spear the Hamdingers with. Even toweling them off, they're slickery little things. The Bacon Bits don't play a very large role, I sort of just threw them in because I kinda like 'em. Go figure. They'd make a good accent, and the're tasty for sure, so you may just want to sprinkle some Bacon Bits over the finished Hamdinger tray. Now just sit back and garner the rave reviews from even the most finicky hors d'oeurve fans!
Be sure to have fresh-n-frothy Killer Shrews ready to serve with this! Of course, Marshmallow Peeps are hard to get out of season...