Two days ago I was getting delerious. Those light flashes were bad. Once I switched antibiotics, I've started feeling better and the light flashes have gone. I'm still down ten pounds and tired. Two weeks of penicillin until yesterday, but if the bacteria is resistent, it can get worse. My heart was hurting more and more. That's twice in two years that I've nearly died of strep sepsis.

This sounds delerious, but my intuition realized something.

My mother died after living here for four years. She was so charming that people would tell me how much they loved her for the next 10 years and still, now.

My sister grundoon lived here too, for two years. I have only met two people who have said they knew her: my niece's father and a woman who was school principal. No one has said anything to me about my sister, also a charmer.

So where are her friends?

I realize that I didn't identify myself as grundoon's sister when I first logged on. But I did by my third write up in 2008. I can see that it would have been a joke to delight grundoon if I thought no one knew while there were people I was meeting in town who knew and were noders.

But I think the joke went too far. If I am correct, and you have felt that I was cool and aloof, remember that I pay strong attention to whether someone is lying/or misleading me. I would be very careful around anyone who set off those alarms in me.

Perhaps if I seemed cool, it is your own fault.

I am signing off the site, because I think there is at least one noder in town, and I think more than one. I feel spied on and tricked and hurt. So I am saying goodbye. I want to thank the people who made me feel cared for.

Take care.

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