A fraternal/college myth involving the last rite of pledge classes.

The story usually goes like this:

After a solid week of sleep deprivation, the pledges are led to the fraternity house’s pitch-black basement. Once there, they’re told Hell Week is almost over and only one final step remains: The Gooky Cookie, also known as Ookie in the Cookie. It pretty much follows what sl0throp said above: the lights go on and the pledges are instructed to encircle a large cookie sitting on the floor. Then they’re told to prove their loyalty by doing the ultimate disgusting act – masturbating in front of each other and aiming their discharge onto the cookie. The last person to climax eats the gook, and if you don’t get any of your semen on the cookie - you help him. Obviously there’s a Semen Judge amongst the brothers. One can only wonder how he gets the job.

Just imagine it: You’ve been going through months of 3AM 5-mile runs ending in hundreds of pushups, forced binge drinking until you vomit, constant verbal abuse, and an on-call servitude rivaling slavery itself. It all peaks with the worst 7 days of your life: you’re not allowed to speak, not allowed to sleep, and you spend each waking hour running from place to place trying to meet ridiculous deadlines, only to find a bunch of angry guys screaming at you. It’s worse than the army. And then, when it’s almost over – you’re told to wank your pud in front of your co-suffers and possibly eat their spew.

And if you bail, all that bullshit you went through was for naught.

Talk about a setup.

For the life of me I can’t figure WHAT the worth of this is, beyond extreme degradation and a laugh for the brothers (who watch their newest members wank off?) I suppose gross speculation would say that public masturbation is a bonding ritual, but surely there’s better ways to become buddies. Watch a football game. Go kill a small furry animal together. Anything.

But as I said before, it’s likely just an urban/college myth. Though I wasn’t in a fraternity nearly all my best friends were – and they shared their secrets. None ever claimed to have participated nor heard of an actual Gooky Cookie ritual happening. It’s likely just a satiric invention of non-greeks, or an antiquated ritual eradicated by the PC 90s, surviving now as joke and myth.

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