A frikandel is a Dutch junk food speciality. It's a kind of deep-fried sausage, roughly cylindrical in shape, about 18cm long and 3cm in diameter. Its skin is matte brown and slightly crinkly. The interior of a frikandel is reconstituted meat and filler of moderate density and uniform texture. Like Scottish haggis, a good frikandel is hugely flavourful and savoury, partly because of the flavourings and spices that are added, but mostly because it contains a large proportion of pig and cow "off-cuts": cheeks, throats, udders, etc.

Note that any revulsion you are now feeling is because modern Western society has sanitised food production and consumption to the point where most people have developed a cognitive barrier between the concepts of "meat" and "animals." Cows are cute (but stupid) animals that wander about in fields and make the countryside look pretty. Steak is tasty red stuff that comes in plastic packaging on supermarket shelves.

Er...no. They're the same thing. Our society is now so squeamish that if we actually had to confront on a regular basis the fact that our burgers once had faces and children, we would probably all turn vegetarian overnight. But I'm getting side-tracked.

You are unlikely to find frikandellen on the menu of a posh restaurant (unless they're really hip). Where you will find them is in snack bars, chip shops (fritures), and in self-service vending machines. You can eat them on their own, or with a bag of friet (french fries).

For a real Dutch pig-out junk food experience, try a frikandel speciaal. This is a frikandel, cut open lengthwise, with generous slatherings of mayonnaise and curry sauce smeared into the incision, and topped with chopped onions.

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