Feel like you're hungry,
but find nothing tangible can sate the need.
Feel like taking a nap,
but wonder what exactly it is you're resting up for.
Feel like going to the bathroom
and wanting to flush it all down in a watery and chemically colored spiral.
Feel like going running,
but don't know where to run to or what to run from.
Feel like listening to the radio,
but find out that the songs have no lyrics and you have no words.
Feel like talking on the phone,
but discover that the dial tone is the only one listening.
but have so much to do you can't do anything.
Feel fat as hell
..and wonder silently to yourself if you're really somewhere in there, lost inside.
Feel like studying and being focused and disciplined,
but can't get past that one big distraction of life.
Feel like going home,
but realize it's not going to be there anymore.
Feel like hiding in your closet,
but know that the darkness will still find you even in there.
Feel like packing up and leaving
to never come back..
but with no destination in sight and a suitcase of fear at your feet.
Feel like holding someone in your arms,
but realize that emptiness can not be physically embraced.
Feel like throwing up
to see if you can take whatever's inside of you out.
Feel like talking to someone
and find out that they were never really there.
Feel like having company,
but feel that two's already a crowd.
Feel like the world is a crowded room
and you're standing there in the middle, all alone.
Feel like pouring the contents of your heart out,
but know no decanter will hold.
Feel like if you look behind you,
you won't find your shadow.
Feel like being on your own,
but realize you already are.
Feel like standing up for something,
but notice that instant that someone's on your foot.
Feel like having something to say,
but find no thoughts that echo in the silence.
Feel like being in control,
but observe that you have none.
Feel like succeeding,
but can't get past failing so well.
Feel like someone out there cares,
but can't understand why they would do that.
Feel like the day will never end
unless someone else wants it to.
Feel like curling up into a ball,
but know that responsibilities and obligations will still be out there anyway.
Feel like being sane,
but feel it's driving you away from who you are.
Feel like the highway you're on is against you,
but don't know where to go for an exit and you ditched your map so long ago.
Feel like turning back the clock
to find it never once had hands.
Feel like breathing
suddenly realizing you don't know how to begin.
Feel like speaking your mind,
but can't find words in its language.
Feel like being angry,
but lack the fire.
Feel like opening up your insides,
but know it won't all come out or fall out or evaporate.
Feel like being shocking
to find that you've always been grounded and sadly normal.
Feel like crawling inside someone,
but know that the skin can never truly conceal.
Feel like being seen as you are,
but can't figure out how to see without seeing.
Feel like stopping the madness
to find yourself there,
already joining it and crying.
Why am I so restless...
Why am I so numb...
Where does this come from...
From where did this come...?