How do you carry around the paraphenalia you need in your daily life? For many women, the answer is the purse. But Real Men can't carry purses. How, then, is a macho man supposed to move around his cell phone, pager, leatherman, crack pipe, loose change, spare keys, dental floss, flare gun, emergency TP, and all the other essentials?

The answer to this question is "Anything but a Fanny Pack." No matter whether you wear it to the front, back or side, the Fanny Pack will inevitably look like a massive cancerous growth on your midsection.

Fanny Packs are actually acceptable in certain contexts. A cyclist booting it up the Evil UBC Hill wearing a Fanny Pack? That's OK. But the second they stop pedalling, they'd better take that thing off, otherwise they're asking for a beatdown from the Fashion Police.

Known as a 'bum bag' in the UK. With good reason, given the English meaning of the word fanny. 'Fanny pack' calls up all sorts of comical ideas..

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