This message from my brother just turned up in my inbox:

   Hey hey hey, mum sez u is comin ome on satrday...
   if u do, theres a top treat on sunday - pale, copperpot
   journals & dugong @ the cornerhouse :) pale r absolute quality!! 
   Just watched the england match, it was a bit cack really i thort!!
   I'm back at college 2moro, cant really b arsed with it 
   yet tho, anyroad, hope 2 c u on satrday!!
   C ya, H.

I see that in the space of two short years (since I left home), SMS has ruined my brother's ability to communicate.

Young people! Take note: do not allow this to happen to your friends!

Invest in the fine linguistic aids of this fair language of ours. The thesaurus is your friend. The QWERTY keyboard is your friend (it even has a button for every letter in the alphabet!). You are spoilt for choice with words and letters and characters.

Using as many short words and abbreviations as possible in SMS is economical and sensible, and even kind of cool when your parents don't understand. It's entirely forgiveable. However, please don't do the same with your e-mails...

Express yourself!

If you didn't quite get it, here is a rough translation of my brother's message:

"Hello, Mum says you are coming home on Saturday. If you do, there's a top treat on Sunday - Pale, Copperpot Journals and Dugong are playing at the Cornerhouse (which I am pleased about). Pale are absolutely brilliant!
I just watched the England match, it was a bit rubbish really I thought!
I'm back at college tomorrow, can't really be bothered with it yet though.
Anyway, hope to see you on Saturday!
See you, Henry."

Two words: "learn to fucking type"

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