it all, Choronzon
! That's seventy-eight heroic adventurers this week! Am I not feeding you enough soul
s? Do I not make myself the very bane
of your existence? Do you not feel pain
, exquisite torture
at the sound of my voice?"
"Yes, yes! O, Prince of Darkness
, O, ruler of dead, collector of impure souls
, it isn't us letting them through!"
"I don't want to know why it's not your fault, I want to hear what the Heaven
do you plan to do about it!"
, Dark Lord
, Most Lowly
... Don't bless us! It's not our fault, not this time. We haven't let one through since Theseus
! We works our hardest, we does!"
"I don't want excuses, I want solutions! Work smarter, not harder
"But it's not us! It's that vile mutt
"Cerberus? Are you saying that my dog won't hunt
"I'm... I'm afraid so. Please, please don't punish us!"
"Be calm. Stop your sniveling
. Does he say why he refuses the flesh of the foe?"
"He feels... he is no longer... I can't say it, my Dark Prince
"He... feels he's no longer loved."
"No longer.... what? Ah, piss. Is it the first of the month
"Fornicate me subtly with power tools and magical swords!
Why do I always forget? Choronzon, do you wish to curry favor with me?"
"Yes, yes, always!"
"Here's ten bucks
. Go up above, find a mini mart
, and buy Cerberus some of those death treats."