Industry term for a bottle of Coke which has been mechanically modified to form a rotating sprinkler system. The specific technique for doing this was accidentally discovered by jt during his lunch break. We spoke to jt via satellite telephone to hear his description of the much-lauded scientific breakthrough:


I'd just walked back to work carrying my lunch and a 600ml bottle of Coke, and began the daily struggle to pull my security card out of my pocket without dropping any of the things I was holding. The Coke bottle, slippery with condensation, slid out of my hands and fell to the concrete. I swore, knowing that I couldn't open it for some time without the liquid fizzing and overflowing; however, that turned out to be the least of my problems.

On impact, a tiny hole had been created in the bottle's cap. The large pressure exerted by the agitated liquid was now amplified by being forced through a very narrow opening; the result was that a thin stream of cola was shooting several feet into the air, threatening to leave me stained and sticky for the day. I ran away from the bottle's deadly fire, but discovered too late that I'd run in the wrong direction... the ground on which the bottle lay had a slight slope, and I had run downhill.

The bottle began to roll, following me as I attempted escape. Luckily for my ego, no-one else was around to witness the terrifying chase; if they had been, they would have seen a grown man running away from a rolling Coke bottle, which sprayed its contents high into the air in graceful and increasingly fast arcs. Although the carbonated attack was very traumatic, I believe that God spoke to me today; thanks to my suffering, the world now has an elegant new method of irrigation.


A patent is pending (see, patent #3,141,593). Farmers with caffeine-dependent crops in hilly areas are expressing strong interest.

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