Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "can collapse the sum of a human lifespan into terms that befit even the most tangential of dramatic characters"

• Any function can be represented as the sum of an even function and an odd one
• The most interesting job I've ever had
• "Of course humans aren't intelligent. They don't even have glurbleflukers. If you can't glurblefluke, you're not sentient."
• Can many fictions be woven into fact?
• Even the ugliest kangaroo can carry a message of love
• The long term consequence of putting fish genes into watermelons
• I can break into any Ford Expedition in an hour
• Because the weather is always beautiful, they don't even know that storms can be beautiful too.
• One of the most irritating things that can happen when talking
• God can create a stone so heavy even he can't lift it
• Even simple things that you think are harmless can be dangerous. Like crayons. Like velvet.
• The sum total of human knowledge
• if you buy into the wizard's bullshit, soon you're all standing waist-deep in things you didn't even know could exist and no one has any clue how to stop him
• The votes can be divided into roughly two categories. Those that got it, and those that didn't.
• The most hilarious thing I can remember
• Can you see the tension piling on me in waves? Look into my eyes.
• The Most Good You Can Do
• human optical character recognition
• I can prove that Jesus was both human and divine
• You can become as successful as the most successful person ever
• "Dude" has evolved into a unisex term
• The sum total of human bullshit
• The most perfect thing you can ever do
• There I stood, rambling incoherently into the tin can, you loved it
• Having gotten myself into a position where I can have my cake and eat it too, I feel a strong compulsion to get up from the table
• Any man can handle adversity. If you want to test his character, give him power.
• I tiptoe back into myself so I can run from what I was
• Even a Doll Can Seem To Have a Soul
• Farmers can grow dates and even bananas
• even if I can't forgive, I can still let go of it
• we can get along even though we disagree
• fractal design of the dramatic human body
• even if you are in prison, you can hear it. even if you are in hell, you can hear the voice. even if you are at a distant star, you can hear the voice of the buddha.
• When will you humans learn that your "feelings" (as you so call them) can stand in the way of big cash payoffs?
• lots of small things can fill up a day without you even being aware of it
• even the human lived long enough to worship the seasons
• I admit confusion. Sometimes it causes my head to ache. Let's not even get into the heart.
• An Inquiry into the Human Mind on the Principles of Common Sense
• How many a dispute could have been deflated into a single paragraph if the disputants had dared to define their terms.
• I thought I had some great insight into human nature, but I didn't
• the sum of all positive even numbers is -2
• Low self-esteem is actually one of the most self-centered acts; not unlike suicide
• I can often think myself right into the nuthouse
• I sometimes feel like I need every human that I can form a healthy relationship with to survive
• Having gotten myself into a position where I can have my cake and eat it too, I feel no compulsion to get up from the table
• How precious can human life be? There are six billion people on the planet!
• Can
• Seven words you can never say on television
• Cans of shit
• can of corn
• aluminum can
• trash can
• Can I use my manhood as a weapon?
• WWIII can start in Afghanistan
• Yan Can Cook
• can of whoopass
• Dry bones can harm no one
• Star Wars Pepsi Cans
• Star Wars cans hidden message
• Be all that you can be
• canned food
• Mr Brown Can Moo! Can You?
• Oh Say Can You Say?
• They leap just because they can, out of joy
• The Hedgehog Can Never Be Buggered At All
• Archived E2 FAQ: Source Code (document)
• Can buoy
• Can hook
• Water can
• That is not dead which can eternal lie
• I can eat a bicycle!
• Linux can reduce your taxes
• canned laughter
• What song would you want to sing if you could sing?
• Your smoking can harm others
• Can porn appeal to women?
• words, and terms, and stray thoughts.
• The X that can be Y is not the true X
• As far as the eye can see
• Asking for a favor
• How can people listen to that crap?
• Any song can be a love song
• that can made you sick
• Nothing can stop me now
• Prince Albert in a can
• Can I go back to sleep now?
• Getting out of a traffic ticket
• Be nice to smokers: any cigarette can be their last
• Amazing what you can do with a paperclip and a snapped elastic band
• windows where I can look out
• Dr Pepper imitations
• Can I masturbate too much?
• How to say "I can eat glass, it does not hurt me"
• I can never ride the bleeding edge of technology!
• How can I help but use your eyes as a means for self-asphyxiation?
• Be the baddest bad girl you can be
• Don't stop. You can sleep when you're dead.
• Genetic Engineering, and How We Can Survive
• If you look hard enough, you can see Satan and his works everywhere
• I can eat a peach for hours
• Jay Buhner can vomit at will
• This poem can be put off no longer
• How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?
• My God parted the sea; what can yours do?
• How many ways can you say "ginger"?
• How many ways can you say "vinegar"?
• How many ways can you say "It's stuff made from soy"?
• tower of pop cans
• What is an "online pet" and can I actually raise one?
• How an S-R latch can destroy the universe
• Push a can
• Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should
• What doesn't kill you can only fuck you up for a really, really long time
• I can hang out with guys without fucking them!
• Can you hum a few bars?
• Anonymous Men Think They Can Talk To Me
• It's the Internet, I can do what I want
• Smoking can kill you
• can control
• canned ham
• Things you can tell just by looking at her
• I can divide by zero
• Language of the dead
• Smoking during pregnancy can harm your baby
• No one can be totally logical
• Hard disk vibrations and how you can stop them
• Just because you should do something doesn't mean you can
• BQN: Can you?
• par can
• can bowl
• Damn beer can taste exceptional some times!
• Can we still be friends?
• How long after the expiration date can you safely drink milk?
• Can you tell I'm a man?
• You can never get away from yourself
• Figures don't lie, but liars can figure
• How can we have a Y2K problem in a country with both Microsoft and Intel?
• you can make anything seem cool with over-formatting
• How can a good Buddhist work in advertising?
• can opener
• can of grease
• I can do much better than this
• Religion doesn't exist just so that people can be told what to think
• Why engineers and scientists can never earn as much as business executives and sales people
• You might be on a diet but you can still look at the menu
• Can someone send me a photo of the server my nodes are on, please?
• The Pariah Coke Can Theory
• I think I can, I think I can
• I can taste the floor
• You need a license to have a dog, but any idiot can have a child
• Potatoes saved my life they can save yours too
• The scariest words I can think of
• How can a thinking, rational adult be an atheist?
• The best compliment an actor can receive
• Not everyone can give good blowjobs. Sorry.
• Canned Heat
• Mom, can we go to the mall?
• king can
• A darn good reason to cover the trash can
• How complex can a public toilet be?
• I can neither confirm or deny these charges
• ordering a pizza can be a painful experience
• The eerie tale of prescient canned pasta
• True Love Can Wait
• Children can be cruel
• When can it end?
• Can machines think?
• The adrenaline rush of meeting someone new to whom you can relate
• How far can an animal fall and survive?
• Some people can just hold onto the things that really matter to them
• Sometimes, all you can be is a friend
• I can make a bong out of anything
• Testing wild plants to see if you can eat them
• murder can be fun
• Why the obliteration of privacy can be a good thing

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