When my sight
and my years were few
, I was so scared of after-life
stories and religion
s that could haunt
my everyday worries. I decided that my belief
s were my
own and what i wanted must be true
. I believe differently
now but this is what i believed when i was young:
One day I imagined myself as a fictional character simular to Godzilla. I went around smashing any bug i could see outside or inside for that matter. I loved to kill spiders. Burn them. Smash them with hammers. Pull off their legs and torture every kind of bug I could find.
Then one day when I was only about 8 I had the ugliest thing happen to me, it was as if I had an ugly nightmare in daytime with my eyes open. I envisioned that when I died I would then become the first bug that I had killed. This left me to believe and dream up a concept that after I died I would reincarnated into the first bug I ever killed and would then watch myself as a giant kill me. I would then repeat the process for every other bug I killed.