Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "because, even if the article's worst insinuations were accurate, these kids would at least have been having consensual sex, and not getting their pussies groped by strangers or being ogled by the adult funder of a beauty pageant while they changed"

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• Or he'll just kick me in the face and scream abstract noises and dance around outside in his underwear and have sex with the neighbor's dog and try to fly by jumping off the toilet
• Being solicited for sex by people who don't even know your gender
• They call you heartless, but you have a heart, and I love you for being ashamed to show it. You are ashamed of your flood, while others are ashamed of their ebb.
• Gap analysis of a telephone call
• And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it hadn't been for you meddling kids!
• So many people have come and gone, their faces fade as the years go by
• Notes on ruining the beauty of barren places by being there
• Hit by the realization that they are all getting to know you nodes
• Getting offered money for sex by a crackhead in the 24-hour supercenter
• While Shepherds Watched Their Flocks
• Do you understand what you are, sir, in love? You've been lost at sea, and picked up by a lone stranger on an anchored and recently near-abandoned ghost ship.
• Real hackers start their own IRC networks so that they can't be traced by the FBI
• Swimming pool injury
• One sock on (or: Getting caught fooling around by the cops)
• our voices, once clarion, have been muted by time and mortgages
• they look up at the same night sky, they fill their heart with the same dreams, and they are infused with the breath of life by the same almighty creator
• drum rudiments which sound like they were named by a neural net
• Despite being surrounded by perverts, I manage to have a great time
• The Lovecraftian compulsion to keep noding even as one is being devoured by EDB
• I fixed my body image issues by looking at people as if they were dogs
• The dead eat hope. We had none to give them, so they were pretty emaciated by the end.
• The classic Warner Brothers cartoon characters have been replaced by lookalikes
• An Account of the Bash at Bier Baron in Celebration of CassParadox's Upcoming Migration to the West Coast, Wherein We Were Loved by All, and Even the Manager Sent Over Free Cream Puffs
• For all sad words on tongue or pen, the saddest are these: "It might have been."
• Man Getting Hit by Football
• The boys did not know it. They were just being beautiful, and I got to watch.
• The Tragedy of Prince Hamlet and the Philosopher's Stone, or, A Will Most Incorrect to Heaven by William Shakespeare
• I have been alone while I was with many girls
• Nickel and Dimed: On (Not) Getting By in America
• Guide to determining if you are constantly being mauled by bears
• Erewhon : Chapter XX - What They Mean By It
• beauty is invented, but it is also personified, and I know this because I have met her
• I've been looking so long at these pictures of you that I almost believe that they are real
• "By their very nature, negatives ought to be more abstract {than positives}."
• only by consuming pieces of one another can beings such as we exist
• A regiment of intellectual ghosts walks the streets of this working class city, casting dignity, reason, and courage into each soul they pass by
• I've been duped by Satan!
• A rose by any other name would smell as sweet
• Because the weather is always beautiful, they don't even know that storms can be beautiful too.
• I'm being eaten by a boa constrictor
• What if I had never met you? How much the poorer would my life have been.
• you get mistaken for strangers by your own friends
• Must've Been While You Were Kissing Me
• Actors who have portrayed the parent(s) of a character portrayed by Ben Stiller
• Being betrayed by one's own body
• What would aliens think if they talked to an average western human being?
• Judging women by their books
• Music that is either by the Sonic Youth or by some band that is ripping off the Sonic Youth, but you can't tell which
• I was discovered by scientists, what will they call me?
• Sit by the pool, drink your fill, admire the beauty of it all
• You meant for this node to be read by me, and I would like to respond
• Technically, it's unlikely you were dropkicked by Jesus
• By the way, those chairs, they spin
• judge a captain not by his shipwrecks, but by whether or not he blames the sea
• SA-8 Gecko (and getting shot down by one)
• Ten "extra toppings" received by the "20 fun things to do while ordering a pizza" guy
• Accidental death odds
• Please inquire of past generations, and consider the things searched out by their fathers
• Faced with adversity, ad execs promote excess by writing riddles while Rome burns
• I know them by the trucks they drive, the names they call each other, the tattoos on hot, shirtless days, the music they blast after lunch, to get through the rest of the day.
• If it had been able to, the light would have smiled
• Know the mute by finding their storyteller
• my mind has long been gnawed by the cankering tooth of mystery
• i would much rather engage directly with the supreme powers of the universe than the horde of ghosts conjured by man
• Are you searching to be inspired? Or are you searching to be amused, be content, be happy? What could you have been?
• it was years before they met again, by chance
• And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music
• No one has ever been bitten to death by a poisonous snake in a ball pit
• Ruminations on being run over by a dump truck
• In the movie of his life, the part of Keanu Reeves will be played by a block of wood, and the critics will pan it for being too expressive
• being beaten into an unhealthy state by other people's pasts
• Being licked to death by kittens
• on being hit by lightning
• The male libido - or - How I was castrated by the 90's
• How to avoid being urinated upon by your baby boy
• When being chased by CIA trainees, don't mention Belgium to the waffle house physicist
• The Bride Stripped Bare by Her Bachelors, Even
• Whether by word or deed or thought
• The reluctant backpacker's guide to being hit by lightning
• Why sex in public is generally disapproved of by society
• Please help us recover your nodes by linking their titles below
• You find yourself being chased not only by the bad guys, but also by what should be the good guys
• I may or may not have been naked
• and then, one morning, I realised I had been an adult for a while
• 278 Books You Should Have Read By Now
• Getting hit by a woman
• Given that a and b are integers, a^2 = b^3, and a is even, prove that a must be divisible by 4
• These women who must live like the high Sierra white pine, fed somehow by the alpine wind
• Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood
• Sitting next to strangers who fall asleep by me for no reason. Trusting rhythm. An odd intimacy, train trips.
• By morning I will have erased all traces that I was ever here
• The eyes of the dead may not blink, but they have been known to wander
• I changed by not changing at all
• Completely implausible circumstances, even by comic book standards
• The Punk Meets the Godfather, Part One: Do My Converse look okay? And other preconceptions by a hippie kid
• having you by the short hairs
• "Have you noticed that we are surrounded by Germans? Oh my god, you're right!" The quadrennial Cologne Nodermeet, Part II
• continuous functions are determined by their values on a dense subset
• Avoid getting screwed by contractors
• I'll pretend I just cursed myself by saying this, so when it doesn't happen I have something to fall back on other than you
• They protect us from danger by harming us before we can harm ourselves
• Names have been changed
• By morning I will have erased all traces that I was ever a bear
• awkward sex, lit by the television, seemingly choreographed to the laugh track
• And if terrorists wanted to communicate secretly, mightn't they just do so by collaborating on a 'draft' here at e2? Can the NSA check on our drafts? Who knows? Inquiring minds want to know, Jay!
• Is this what I have been seeking? Or is it an echo, a remnant, a sign that I was wrong?
• cards written by those paid to condense their thoughts and emotions
• And while I stand by what I said, I honestly wasn't intending for him to light himself on fire.
• How many a dispute could have been deflated into a single paragraph if the disputants had dared to define their terms.
• one by one their blades will grind to a halt and stand still like a white forest.
• we're part of something bigger than any one of us. i just feel lucky to have been chosen.
• even if it's just to smoke with me by this brick wall
• Boy, have you been having those dreams of yours again?
• On feeling haunted by words which were never said
• Open source cars would be doing 200 mpg by now
• The dubious distinction of being criticized from the left by the Ku Klux Klan
• The relative risk of being attacked by a shark
• The Wild Colonials
• Changing standards of male beauty purely by force of will
• Buying things just because they have cool packaging
• Being tickled in the neck by a girl you know a little bit
• He makes me feel alone just by being there
• Tell me a story about a burro, standing atop a mesa, surrounded by a flock of geese, being fed by a weathered old man wearing nothing but a Jimmy hat
• If we were machines, we'd have the gift of being eternal and I want you to understand
• Don't kill your invisible husband to see what he looks like or you'll sob your heart out. But don't worry about the millions of invisible men coming to attack your village because they won't kill you if you don't know how to fight them.
• Being pulled over by the cops for speeding
• You don't even have a chance of being happy if you can't let shit go.
• your chances of being killed by a frog are low BUT NEVER ZERO
• Supporting your views on modern social dynamics by citing anthropology
• No one has ever died because they DIDN'T have a toothpick
• RFC 602
• They hate us because we're wonderful
• Sex by candle light
• Did we listen to pop music because we were miserable? Or were we miserable because we listened to pop music?
• We're flawed because we want so much more. We're ruined because we get these things and wish for what we had.
• Do not put this product into the rectum by using fingers or any mechanical device or applicator
• Sex just walked by me, and I didn't get any, dammit
• He's been places they have not.
• getting by with duff ears
• By their fruits you shall know them
• If you become lucid, you realize history's greatest literature was being written as you read it ...by yourself.
• Being rejected by someone you really respect
• sex by association
• This statement has not been evaluated by the FDA
• Addressing others by their user names
• The Golden Turkey Award for Worst Performance by a Popular Singer
• The ringing has been drowned out by voices
• You can learn a lot about a person by how they act at an Airport
• They know me not by name, but numbers
• Surrounded by strangers with public fingerprints
• It is never too late to be what you would have been
• By hook or by crook
• If you or a loved one have been injured or killed
• Fossils were put there by God
• Discovering personalities by watching people with their dogs
• you would have been
• These guys are cool; and by cool, I mean totally sweet
• their teary eyes follow us as if our actions are accompanied by tragic music
• The lonely ones will find each other by the heat of their bodies
• It would have been an excellent story but I had to get off the train
• cancer kids hangin around out by the trains
• If I'd have shot her when I met her, I'd be out of jail by now.
• You were the one beam of light in my life; I responded by putting on sunglasses.
• getting hit by a guy
• Help! My sister's been abducted by Christians!
• Incarnation, a poem (or something) by polyseeme
• They are angry and they have been lied to
• Because they are clowns, that doesn't mean they aren't dangerous. And being dangerous doesn't mean they aren't clowns.
• Strangers have been, and continue to be, very kind to me. Thank you.
• By evening I will have returned all traces that I was ever here
• my whole life is passing me by and I sometimes wonder why I am even still alive
• How to get Apache to tell your visitors when files have moved or been deleted
• To promote the Progress of Science and useful Arts, by securing for limited Times to Authors and Inventors the exclusive Right to their respective Writings and Discoveries
• It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried.
• The Sightless find Their way by the Warmth
• On getting blown up 8000 miles from home by a man who does not own shoes
• It has been claimed that some or all of this article or section is incoherent and not understandable, and should possibly be reworded if the intended meaning can be determined

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