The might of medical science has come up with some interesting pills recently. Prozac and all those MAOIs and SSRIs to make one happy, Ritalin to make the kids quiet, calm and studious, Valium for the parents, and Viagra to make one horny. Impressive, but there's obviously a large number of mental states still untouched by better living through chemistry.

What we need is a bastard pill, for all those poor people who have to go through life all nice and timid. It would turn them into a snarling headbiting... well, bastard. Unable to face the unpleasantness of dumping your SO? Take a bastard pill! People keep treating you like a doormat, worse than dirt? Take a bastard pill! Do you need to give someone your honest opinion on something important to them? I think you know what to do. Your job in the IRS straining you too much? Bastard pills will help! No one will ever step on you again, you beautiful asshole you.

Bastard pills. Because sometimes, being completely unpleasant is the best answer.

Manufacturer not responsible for bastard pill abuse.

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