When I was 13, I started my period. According to the health education classes we were forced to attend in junior high, this was a sure sign that I had hit puberty. Knowing this, I relished the sure fact that breasts would come along soon! Yippee! My mother bought me a training bra from JC Penney, just one, and I wore it every day. I had that training bra until I was 18. At 16, I asked my mom, "Hey, shouldn't I be growing soon? Is there something wrong with me?" The response was, "You're built like me. Wait a couple of years."

17 and 18 came and went, I moved out, I finally threw away the training bra. I had tiny little boobs. The three bras I owned were "lightly padded" 34 A sized demi bras made by Maidenform. I wore them with three cotton balls in each cup to fill up the empty space, thinking this would make just the slightest difference... all it did was make my nipples woolly, and make me worry needlessly about explaining to a guy what those were there for... if they were ever found. They weren't. I am now 25 years old, and my mother still tells me that my breasts will fill out in a couple of years.

It's quite ridiculous. Throughout all of this ordeal, my breasts have been apathetic. They don't care that I can't wear any dresses that aren't empire waisted because I have an otherwise hourglass figure. They sit happily under my t-shirts and look forward to kisses and good scratches when they have an itch. My youngest sister also has apathetic breasts, but I get the feeling she is making them angry. She owns several of the wonderbras and their respective knockoffs, as well as a couple of those creepy water bras. For those unfamiliar with the water bra, it is the same basic idea as the padded bra... but the cups are filled with water and oil... so that it feels like an extension of your natural self, and of course adds a cup size or two. She puts on her bra, then grabs her little boob and mashes it up to the top of the bra, and inserts an extra little elliptical pad from the bottom of the bra, creating more uplift for her "cleavage." This results in globular mounds pushing up at the neckline of her shirt. If it is low-cut, you can see the skin wrinkled up between her boobs due to the stretching and posturing.

My boobs would never go for this treatment. I've tried it a couple times, and they pout and retreat back to their normal position. I get the feeling that if I ever got an icky boob job, my breasts would spit the implants right back out, and go back to their regular position, waiting for some nice scented lotion or some other favorable attention.

I've grown very comfortable with my breasts, after 12 years of fighting with them. We still have our arguments - why should I have to wear a bra, I ask them, when I am so blessed with breasts which need no support? They answer - because we are your happy little breasts, who are apathetic to what you want, and whenever you wear any shirt without a bra, we enjoy reacting with obvious glee to every breeze and every good looking male or female within a 5 mile radius.

Good little boobs.

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