Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the butt"

• When you can almost recognize her face, but you can't remember her name
• before the internet when teen had REAL relationship the boy could look at the girl and judge the diameter of her thorax with his feelers and determine whether the mating ritual could commence but NO MORE. evil woman use her computer sorcery
• Tell me a story about a burro, standing atop a mesa, surrounded by a flock of geese, being fed by a weathered old man wearing nothing but a Jimmy hat
• In the Fifties, a visitor from Great Britain to New York City notices a young Black woman driving a limousine. A portly middle-aged man, race undetermined, is in the back. Tell her story.
• Things you can tell just by looking at her
• Yeah I can love my fellow man; but I'm damned if I'll love yours.
• Necromancers really lift your spirits, but the dead can bring you down
• Seems I might have stolen the blue part of her rainbow, but all I really did was make it bigger, a way bigger blue
• Any fool with a dick can make a baby but it takes a real man to be a father
• So says the preacher man, but... I don't go by what he says
• Not really by the rules, but...
• You can play with my ex-girlfriend, but treat her like the lady that she is.
• For every rich man who tries to leave this world for a better one with his fancy tomb surrounded by mourners, there are many more who perish alone in the cold, forgotten by all but God.
• On the one hand my life is in danger, but on the other hand, I'm getting really stoned
• You want to reassure her, but you don't know where to start
• But can you still cry like a child?
• The woman with her legs apart
• A man who never sees a pretty girl without loving her a little
• Life is not always fair, but you can be
• beauty is invented, but it is also personified, and I know this because I have met her
• Anyone could know just by watching her silent moves
• She was most amazed by the obvious, like January and the fact that I could not possibly keep her.
• But my computer really IS possessed
• GammaGirl, Nothing can slow her down
• They blew up the world, but what really pisses me off
• green blood excites her Japanese sweaters
• You can put your boots in the oven, but that don't make them biscuits.
• but her emails
• Young Virgin Auto-Sodomized by Her Own Chastity
• No man can eat fifty eggs
• The man who can fix anything
• You can pulp a story but you cannot destroy an idea.
• The Marlboro Man died of cancer, but he wasn't a rocket scientist when he was healthy, ha ha ha.
• Every beautiful woman has someone who is tired of her
• So then I tried staring into the abyss, but it got distracted by a weasel and ditched me
• I can slaughter my way through Hell, but I can't kill these feelings for you
• You can, but you may not
• She thought about giving him her heart
• but with words we can create anything
• surrounded by stars, her dark hair blending into the fabric of the night sky
• Woman Driving, Man Sleeping
• We can meet her for you wholesale: a dreaming girl's singularity
• I a man sad, with a linux box, a slow internet connection and friends who can not see the love in me bursting to get out.
• you never felt her hot blood on your face but, hey, who's keeping track
• Things they don't teach you at law school but really ought to
• But can you imagine what that would do to all those juggaloes?
• You can complain about athlete salaries all you want, but my voicemail is still empty.
• You can get to my heart by making me cry
• Sororities are nothing but social crutches
• I know it's stealing, but sometimes someone else can say it better than you ever can.
• You can say the train isn't real but it's still going to sting like a son of a b
• Can you tell I'm a man?
• She does not rustle but her flesh has the moonlit shade of a silver birch
• I can cast Zulthon's Glowing Rings, but I cannot cast you from my heart
• You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.
• Dreams Can Be Cryptic, Dreams Can Obfuscate, But Dreams Do Not Lie
• The Man Felt an Iron Hand Grasp Him by the Hair, at the Nape. Not One Hand, a Hundred Hands Seized Him, Each by the Hair, and Tore Him Head to Foot, the Way You Tear Up a Sheet of Paper, Into Hundreds of Little Pieces
• They protect us from danger by harming us before we can harm ourselves
• Loneliness is but a myth dispelled by you
• judge a captain not by his shipwrecks, but by whether or not he blames the sea
• I don't believe in God or the soul but these machines can make me cry
• you can give up, but there will always be those who do not
• You can tell what state a relationship is in by the type of underwear the girl is wearing
• I can't get published, but this crap can
• They don't realize they're talking about death but I can hear it behind their voices
• Ghosts can laugh, but they're already dead
• A woman has 30 ways of laughing, but only 1 way in which she cries.
• The naked woman raises herself on her elbow and continues her monologue in the direction of the bath
• The lost man by the wayside
• Eat Drink Man Woman
• And if terrorists wanted to communicate secretly, mightn't they just do so by collaborating on a 'draft' here at e2? Can the NSA check on our drafts? Who knows? Inquiring minds want to know, Jay!
• Words that sound dirty but really aren't
• You cannot stop the waves, but you can learn to surf
• You can take the mall out of the ghetto, but you can't take the ghetto out of the mall
• I can get away with murder, but I can't get you out of my head
• Man Getting Hit by Football
• You might be on a diet but you can still look at the menu
• How to test if your mother REALLY has eyes in the back of her head
• That man has writer's block but I don't know if I'm him right now
• Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can make me think I deserved it.
• woman and her husband
• She is a night of dark trees, but he who is not afraid of her darkness will find banks full of roses under her cypresses
• If you loved her, you'd be home by now
• Music that is either by the Sonic Youth or by some band that is ripping off the Sonic Youth, but you can't tell which
• you can't change the world, but you can change the facts
• Libertarianism sounds good on paper, but is it really?
• I told her I could read her mind, but she didn't believe me. I could tell.
• you can close your eyes but not your ears
• Old man who lived by the crick
• Fucked by the woman of your dreams
• Can a woman be sexist? Can a black person be racist?
• Not her voice, but the way her voice changes,
• Redemption is very much like vengeance. Redemption has more valor, and is more satisfying if you obtain it. But if you chase it blindly you can waste yourself completely.
• A woman of her times
• You can judge a movie by its poster
• You can run, but you can't hide
• the water can kill you, but the beer won’t
• she doesn't write, doesn't tell you stories, but somehow it's her words that spring to mind at those crucial, terrifying moments, and for that you are eternally grateful
• A woman and her Cock
• I ran over an old woman with her own car
• chapters marked by love notes from another man's wife
• Asking for a favor
• But what are they really thinking?
• They may take our car keys, but they'll never take our freedom
• Commit it then to the flames: For it can contain nothing but sophistry and illusion
• you can lower your standards, or your pants, but you can't make them love you
• Guilt is a hard thing to bury but it’s a really easy thing to dig up
• Getting hit by a woman
• Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex
• How can someone worship a dead naked man nailed to a cross as their god?
• You don't really drink beer in cans, do you?
• Can You Forgive Her?
• Sexist jokes
• I can burn the hearts of the damned, but I can't stop the burning I feel for you
• only by consuming pieces of one another can beings such as we exist
• Really Really Big Man
• All right. She can fly circles around Uranus, but where's the bathroom?
• I can see three corners from this corner. Two's a perfect number. But one?
• Life must be lived forward, but it can only be appreciated sideways
• A Woman of Her Tribe
• A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle
• I could tell by all of her dead house plants
• What can change the nature of a man?
• How can I help but use your eyes as a means for self-asphyxiation?
• What do girls think about guys when they catch guys staring at their breasts, but the guy is actually trying to read her shirt?
• The Gentle Man
• vanity and the man woman thing
• Man Smart, Woman Smarter
• I may have cellulite, but I can still put my ankles behind my head
• Men's guide to what a woman really means
• I cannot produce a definitive list of everywhere I have been, but I can say that I have seen a whole lot of nowhere
• I can lie to the face of the devil himself, but I can't fool you.
• I got hit by the pizza man
• There was a Man Dwelt by a Churchyard
• one man's summer is another woman's winter
• No obstacle can overcome the spirit of a man determined to choke his chicken
• Butt's Twelve by Pies
• you laugh and then you cry but you're still laughing but you miss her so damn much
• Actually, I went to bed this morning, sometime, but we can gloss over that.
• what she's building now, it isn't much, but it's hers
• By Appointment to Her Majesty The Queen
• What doesn't kill you can only fuck you up for a really, really long time
• The Old Tin Can Man
• You can never really escape the fire
• Every time that I tell her that I love her, I can taste my own hypocrisy
• The Navigator can not assist with Giving Birth
• She really does want to clap along, but at the same time she doesn't want to let the bird get out.
• Susan Goldman, who has cervical cancer, is partly thankful as she braces herself but changes her mind as she's sprayed with burning jet fuel.
• I am an adventurer not by choice, but by fate
• If you really care about someone, do not tell her to fuck off
• I can divide by zero
• Some people can just hold onto the things that really matter to them
• Figures don't lie, but liars can figure
• You find yourself being chased not only by the bad guys, but also by what should be the good guys
• I'm not really okay with being hated for what I am. It's hard to take. But it's still better than being loved for something I'm not.
• Every "why" question can be answered by a phrase using the word "idiot"
• In her tomb by the sounding sea
• Ten commandments of man, given to woman
• One man can make a difference
• You need a license to have a dog, but any idiot can have a child
• I feel like shit today, but I can always feel worse tomorrow
• I really miss the woman who told me that people don't like me
• Can I play with your breasts? Yes, but don't get out of the yard.
• Stand by Your Man
• You can learn a lot about a person by how they act at an Airport
• The vanity of a woman demands that a man be more than a happy husband
• On getting blown up 8000 miles from home by a man who does not own shoes
• Fields of sunshine bloom as the midnight in her dress falls away, replaced by moonlight.
• Can things really change?
• There was a man and a woman
• But can a robot love.
• The old man on the bench, for example, made her cry
• I have a small penis. How can I sexually pleasure a woman?
• Any man can handle adversity. If you want to test his character, give him power.
• This terrain is constantly changing, but if you look closely, you can find the patterns
• malt does more than Milton can to justify God's ways to man
• The Woman and Her Hen
• A really good sandwich that ideath could make to take to work with her
• The woman had a carnivorous frenzy which could only be soothed by the succulent sirloin
• Things you can't tell just by looking at her
• I can see her face
• He comforted me when he thought I needed it, but never when I really did
• like you're blind but still can see

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