After you'd gone I cried for a week

I wanted to give you a fitting send off
something romantic and passionate like you

Burials are so naff
with hearses and priests
I knew you'd hate all that

You'd want to go out like a Viking warrior
or Mrs Gandhi by the side of the Ganghes

Clearly cremation was the only way to go
but a longboat was too long for the garden
and a pyre's fire might spread to the garage

so I sliced and then diced you
seared you over a hot flame
on the barbecue

It was so beautiful I cried some more
Afterwards the neighbours came round
and the police

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