Start Again


"This is about the freaks doing everything they want to do now."
--Prince, "Now"

It has been determined. A certain portion of your life is fact and a certain portion of it is fiction. Walk around the room and try to disagree. You know you want to. Go ahead, shake your ass around the room and tell us all how divine you are. I'll soak up your lies like a sponge waiting to be wrung out in the morning. A certain part of you is a lie. A certain part contains the truth. Lies are easier than truth. So, how strong are you?

The lie is not always open and obvious. Sometimes it is stretched across the fabric of your being like a non-existent coat of too many colors. You play a role at work, with friends, family and lovers. Maybe you are even that tough guy who prances and poses out at the pub but cries every time he makes love. We go to the extreme. You want to focus on the extreme. It keeps you from looking into the subtleties within your own context.

Don't be afraid of the truth
No matter how many times it hurts like hell.

We live within a society that requires posing and role playing in order to achieve a mythological success. Fame and fortune, silver and gold, comfort and security... these are all part of the myth for they all mean nothing. This life is kindergarten and you aren't going to graduate if you can't get off the gravy train. They'll give you the crooked crutches of logic, reason and science to give you the proof you crave in order to keep on strutting. Once you imagine how ridiculous human beings are to think they can define everything, you'll start to get closer to the first grade.

Welcome to the dawn.

We are dominated by fear. We are afraid of doing or saying the wrong thing at the wrong time in the wrong place. Conditioning has brought us to the point where we are taught to accept truth as absolute. We have no room to wiggle. We need to wiggle. Once they define everything and remove all need for faith and belief through their human definitions of proof, then the human race will die, for it will have no further purpose. They miss the point so consistently because they can't hit the dartboard, but they'll give you logical proofs as to why hitting the wall with their dart is all the proof you need.

They all miss the point
It is a source of constant amusement for me
But, I need to laugh

If you are going to ride, you'll have to choose your own wheels. They might have a whole car picked out for you. They will make recommendations. They will tell you all about the tires, the oil, the finish, and even how to drive, but in the end you'll have to decide whether their recommendations are valid or part of your own program. Sometimes you will lie. Sometimes you will be honest. More often than not, you will negotiate the lie. You find a way to reach an acceptable middle ground between what is you and what is expected of you.

And where are you in all of this?

You negotiate the edges and show pieces of yourself to different individuals and groups because you feel they will be more accepting of these individual slices of you. Does anyone get the whole block of cheese?

The answers start within your own fictions and not within your truths. Why have you created these fictions? Why have you tried so hard to fit in? Why have you tried to meet these expectations and how often have you questioned the nature of these expectations? Who owns your ass? Who owns your soul? If you had wings, would you be allowed to fly. Not likely. Not likely at all. You are wearing too many shackles. You've come to believe that freedom means being able to buy a slushy soda at the 7-11 any time of day or night. You've lost your focus. Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose, and you've still got quite a bit left to lose.

Have you ever tested the edges?

We need to start pushing those edges, because we are generally too afraid of them. We are conditioned to fear the edges. Pull up a patch of plantation and put some roots down. Be productive and add something that you believe is a benefit to society. A collective reality is an energy drain. It can work, but it doesn't under the current perspective. Anything that asks more of you than it gives is not holy. It is the deepest, darkest sewer of the soul that ever bred itself into our reality. It asks more and more and gives nothing back. This is not the fault of the collective reality, for the collective reality is made up of component individual realities. The problem rests with too many empty spirits that take without giving and only ask "What is in it for me, baby?"

I watch sadness creep over the land, a chaos that unfurls itself most insidiously. It used to be funny when individual groups of indignant people would protest against anything they found offensive to their personages. It stopped being funny when I realized people were losing the ability to laugh at themselves. Depression sweeps over people who are always trying to meet expectations they have come to embrace. These foods are bad for you. These stores have connections with evil doers. Can't eat this. Can't shop here. Can't do this, it has connections to bad things.

These people have to measure everything they do for acceptability within their adopted personal realities. I spend too much time watching the dance of the fashionably mentally ill worried about every moment of this life. How is someone supposed to achieve any level of happiness when they are trained to be upset about everything? How is anyone supposed to achieve any level of happiness when all their energy is spent shutting out life and embracing apathy? The only way is through realizing that this life means nothing more than a playful romp through kindergarten. Find your peace, live within your reality, and reject all absolutes.

The only absolute is you.


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