What to do after unprotected sex, if you don't want to get pregnant

The first thing Don't do it again

The next thing you want to do is look into Emergency Contraceptive. You can get more info at that node, but if used with in 72 hours or so after the sex, it can reduce the chance of pregnancy by up to 70%. Call 888-NOT2-LAT(E) or look in the yellow pages for Planned Parenthood.

Get tested for STDs: look in the yellow pages for a local anonymous clinic or talk to your doctor.

After two weeks you can get a pregnancy test. Do so. If it turns up positive, you should take another, just in case, and start to think about adoption and abortion. You might also look into RU-486, an abortion pill, newly legalized in the USA.You probably aren't mature enough to take care of a kid, really very few people are.

Get condoms and the pill for next time.


Snuggle closely to the one person you truly love and have chosen to give this gift to. Think warm thoughts about the pitter patter of little feet you've longed to have for years. Sigh uncontrollably. Memorize every detail of your partner, the bed, the room, the lighting, the sounds you hear... Kiss ever so slowly Slowly and almost unconsciously touch every bit of your partner Breath together Stare into each others eyes and discover that you don't really need words. Make cute and endearing small talk about each others lives, idiosyncrasies, unique physical features privy to only you, or anything really. Fall asleep more contented that ever before.

note to the youth of our nation: this node does not imply that sex is good

A question of weighing future against future

Snuggling up closely to the one person you truly love and have chosen to make a parent is wonderful advice. You should, nevertheless ask your partner before having unprotected intercourse as whether he wants this special gift at this very moment. I assume that this is advice that should be not only given to the female population of the internet, but also to the blokes.

Ask yourself:

  • Will you be able to provide for your child and have someone share the burden of looking after that bundle of joy when you will have to study for your exams?
  • Will he be happy to find a job to finance you and your child or will you be the provider?
  • Will your parents will be happy to be grandparents and babysit while you're clubbing?

Just do me a favour. Think first. Use contraception.

. . . and now, one for the guys . . .

Discuss it with her as soon as possible.

Do not blame her. You had as much responsibility as she did.

Offer to pay for the doctor visit and morning-after pill if she wants to go that route. If feasible, offer to go with her. The same for abortion if it takes her longer than 120 hours* to make a decision. However, make sure not to suggest either option until she's had a chance to say what she thinks. It looks bad if you seem to be pressuring her.

She may not be pregnant, of course, but if she is, you're a part of it too.

If she's carrying to term—even if she's then putting the child up for adoption—tell her you'll help out in any way you can that she wants. You then have to do this, of course. That can include money, emotional support, helping her through whatever flak she may get for getting knocked up out of wedlock, accompanying her to doctor visits, looking after her health, and other things.

If she's raising the baby, decide what level of participation you're comfortable with. At the very least, offer reasonable (or generous) child support. If her idea of reasonable is more than yours but less than the court's, you'll regret not doing this.

In this day and age you're no longer required to offer to marry her, but you can. Bear in mind that she's unlikely to think the offer is motivated entirely by love alone. However, that should certainly be the major factor. In other words, don't propose unless you were at least open to the idea before this whole mess.

If you're not living together, now may be the time—with the same caveats as for marriage. In any case, you should be willing to be a full participant in parenting, or at least as much so as you can tolerate.

She may want more than you're initially willing to give. Discuss this rationally—no "you're ruining my life, bitch!" Be prepared to compromise. Do not suggest abortion.

Be prepared, too, for her to go to the other extreme: she may now want you out of her life entirely. This will be painful, but it's as caddish to force your presence on someone who doesn't want it as it is to withdraw from someone who needs you.

There is also the matter of STIs. Transmission is more likely than pregnancy on a per-partner basis, although fertile women outnumber infected women. Here again, it's important not to blame—she probably did not set out to infect you, and you're as capable of taking precautions as she is. She may, in fact, be unaware she's carrying anything, so try to break the news as gently as possible.

If there's no pregnancy or disease, of course, the whole thing is moot.

*This originally said "72 hours," which was the window at one time but no longer is.

Don't just downvote if you disagree with me, write up your own thoughts on the subject also.

anthropod has reminded me that there's a relatively low likelihood of pregnancy from a single act of intercourse. Even a woman who has sex every day for a year has a better than one in nine chance of not getting pregnant that year.

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