A survey was recently conducted at the Pick 'N Save food supermarket on 71st and State in Wauwatosa, Wisconsin. Through random selection fifty-six people were asked one simple question: "What is Everything2, you?" There was no hard data collected. The responses were not recorded on paper or by audio tape, nor were photographs taken of those surveyed.
The pool of responders consisted of many seemingly different peoples. Represented in the fifty-six Wauwatosans were different races, different nationalities, different ethnicities, different genders, different ages. Though there was no personal information gathered, it is believed that no homosexuals or arachnophobes were included in the survey. One elderly gentlemen mentioned that he fought in a war.
No lead in question was asked, nor were the surveyed asked if they had the time to answer a few questions. Upon entering the supermarket unsuspecting individuals would be approached and asked the single, defining question. The original response from all but two of those who stopped to look me in the eye consisted of an "excuse me", a "what", or a "huh". It was at this time that the question would be repeated in a slower, more articulated way. "What. Is. Everything2. You."
All of those questioned put more thought into their answers the second time through. Some repeated the question aloud, asking themselves, "What is everything to me?" Not a single human being knew of Everything2 to be a website, but rather believed they were asked to respond with one thing that meant more to them than anything else in the world.
Family was the number one response, given by roughly half of those surveyed, and approximately all single mothers nestling children into their carts. Each response that was not family, however, was completely different in nature.
"What is everything to me? Hmm...well, I'm really digging the Brewers right now. Have you been keeping up on them? They just annihilated the Philly’s, went through 'em like they were nothing."
"Finishing school, I guess. I'm seriously getting bummed out right now, I've been bombing exams right and left. Not like it matters, though, since I've been killing on PartyPoker recently. I make so much it's not even funny. No, seriously, dude, I sit down at the fifteen-thirty tables and just make those kids look like fools."
"Getting enough money gathered up so I can leave the United States of America."
"My wife, Nancy. She's a beautiful lady. Right now, however, I need to buy some Johnsonville brats. Pardon me."
"Working. You see this fucking briefcase? I've got papers and shit in here! Fucking...important papers and shit! Get the fuck outta my way!"
When the Wauwatosa Police Department arrived at the Pick 'N Save on 71st and State in Wauwatosa, Wisconsin the two officers had two very different responses.
"Right now it's getting you outta this store."
"Keeping the streets safe."