What constitutes a lie?
Have you ever told a lie? I have. Many. Why did I do it? Self preservation? Protection? Frankly, I have no answers. What I do know, is that a lie only hurts when you are lying to the people who care about you OR if the people whom you care about lie to you.
If a stranger on the street came up to me and told me a lie, I wouldn't care 2 hoots about it. No significant impact to me or my life. However, if my daughter told me a lie - even the tiniest, tinsiest one - would cut to my heart and get me all upset. It indeed hurts to be lied to by your loved ones. What about double whammies? Like maybe you discover that your husband has been lying and to add to that, so has your daughter? Depending I suppose on the magnitude of the lies being told, it would be enough to crumble one's world and send a person off the edge.
Something inside of us snaps, when we are forced into a corner and we feel absolutely TRAPPED by our situation. We have been deceived, we have been rejected by the people we CHOSE to spend our lives with, we cannot see a way out. Our heart is still there, yet we know that its time to press the "protect yourself" button. Millions of what ifs course through our mind. You consider killing people, perhaps disappearing, perhaps something less drastic - like making them PAY for what they have done to you.
Are these useful thoughts? Will it change the situation?
Sadly no. The truth remains is that they lied. Words said, can never be unsaid.
Can you ignore the truth and forget it ever happened? Sadly no. The "truth" of the lie has become a fact, facts cannot be forgotten or erased.
However, we can CHOOSE. We can make choices for ourselves that revolve around the following principles -
- Love the people you hate - actively - choose love over hate, because it has a better track record.
- Forgive - because it makes YOU feel better.
- Remember that you too have lied and are not perfect.
- Reconcile or walk away. Life goes on.