Findings:
- How long have you been in love with her?
- I have never been sure that you knew quite how much I loved you
- You, standing
- So - you've been making love to me ten thousand miles away - how tantalizing.
- if you have love in your heart, then you are my friend
- I never realized how helpful a visual arts degree could be in fixing sump pumps
- What is it like to have a crush on someone?
- I'll buy you Mountain Dew if you realize I love you.
- How can I need kisses I have never felt?
- How to serve a cheese plate - or, how I came to love curds and eschew fashion
- O Love, How Deep, How Broad, How High
- How we could still have a President Trump
- You'll never quite know how much you've lost until you get what you were looking for
- Oh How I Love Thee
- How to have an epileptic fit
- This is an ode to the one I have loved the least
- How we were, before we were
- If every pork chop were perfect we wouldn't have hot dogs
- How I learned to stop worrying and love statistics
- How Liquid Paper invented the local news
- I have a small penis. How can I sexually pleasure a woman?
- Sex in a small car
- How to get an A on your English paper
- How many lives could have been saved had we just said "Please" more often?
- The Lover Showeth How He Is Forsaken of Such as He Sometime Enjoyed
- This is how the world ends: a love story
- They made the sunrise for people like us just so we have an excuse for why we're still up.
- How green is love
- How is it that Mexicans know neither Chili con Carne nor Toilet Paper?
- How can I talk about love when the bacon is burned and the house is an absolute mess and the children are screaming their heads off and I'm going to miss my bus?
- I'm probably the best lover I'll ever have
- We're not coming home. I love you.
- Do you remember how small your body was when you were five?
- I have no scars. I have never loved.
- How do you consummate your love for a mermaid?
- Son, do you know how fast you were going?
- How a suicide made me wish I were Superman
- How we sleep on the nights we don't make love
- Overgrowth (for those who have loved the emotionally disturbed)
- If All the World Were Paper
- That icky feeling when a client calls with a downed server and you have no clue how to fix it
- How Could You Want Him (When You Know You Could Have Me)?
- You have to lie to fall in love. You have to tell the truth to stay there.
- How I know I love you
- I was pretty sure that wasn't how slasher films were supposed to end, but you won't see me complaining.
- One day we realized we were going to need a bigger car
- How can we have a Y2K problem in a country with both Microsoft and Intel?
- How to herd people in public
- Jesus loves you so I don't have to
- no exact amounts since I have no idea how many people you feed
- How to make love to a virgin
- Overcoming arachnophobia, or how I learned to love the spiders with HUMAN HEADS!
- Strange man makes permanent visit
- Papermaking
- How to fake aged paper
- How to tell if someone loves you
- how i learned to love my peanut allergy and an elephant named bessy
- How I learned to stop worrying and love the iBook instead
- The Manual (How to Have a Number One the Easy Way)
- How many genes do we (humans) have?
- How to Say I Love You, with Bombastic Inefficiency
- How to tell if paper is acid free
- How to have lesbian sex
- Most people underestimate how serious things have gotten
- How many a dispute could have been deflated into a single paragraph if the disputants had dared to define their terms.
- if you knew how much I love you, you would run away
- how love works
- How to say "I love you"
- If only our tongues were made of glass, how much more careful we would be when we speak.
- How do I know if I love you?
- how the pyramids were built
- What did you love when you were a kid?
- How I realized the balance of Yin and Yang
- How to love someone who is mentally ill
- We were the young lovers before despair
- How I fell in love
- How to BS a Term Paper
- The volume of stuff you own is directly proportional to how far you have to move
- I love you but I have to let you go
- Paper, rock, scissors. They all have their pros and cons.
- I'll look at this in a year and wonder how I could have been so stupid
- What is this strange attractant you use; how does it work?
- These papers do not show what I have done
- Have I forgotten how to stand up with the humor and the need?
- The day we were married the leftover doves from his days of being a magician hummed little love songs in the attic
- It's better to have loved and lost
- Strange things homeless people have said to me
- How I came to love tea
- Megalania (or how I learned to stop worrying and love the lizard)
- Five minutes after falling off the cliff, I realized how high it really was
- Have you ever wondered how many gears a car can have? Or: My experiences with an East German vehicle
- How does one love the dead?
- How do you love your ass?
- I have to wonder how this can be a metaphor for my life
- Life is material; you just have to live long enough to figure out how to use it
- Of course I'll love you forever, provided we have sex right now
- how many lines of code have you written?
- How long have you known?
- how loud to you have to be to put out a housefire with just your voice
- How to Fall Out of Love
- When they realized they were in the desert, they built a religion to worship thirstiness.
- How to write an "A" paper with minimal effort
- How to have fun in post-Civil War New York
- The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost.
- How I fell in love with Alice
- How the mighty have fallen
- How to say "No" and have people listen
- You were a bookmark to the time when I loved every sunrise
- How to get Apache to tell your visitors when files have moved or been deleted
- when I am King, we will have no such things, but, my lads, if the old king my father were dead, we would be all kings.
- How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love High Level Languages
- all I ever learned from love was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you
- How the Old Woman Took Care Of Candide, and How He Found the Object of His Love
- The moment you realize how much of your life experience is hopelessly interlaced
- What face did you have before your mother and father were born?
- Knots I have known and loved
- We're going to have to take Heidi home
- How to have an out of body experience
- Dr. Strangelove, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb
- How my plans to sell someone's soul on eBay were foiled
- How did we survive this long if we're all selfish?
- How to Survive the Loss of a Love
- That whole bedroom thing wouldn't have happened if you hadn't tried to explain Quantum Physics
- How to say "I love you": A Six Step Guide
- I believe love and cats have nine lives.
- You Don't Have To Say You Love Me
- i am a seedling. i don't even understand how much i have yet to learn.
- How to avoid saying, "I love you"
- How Pac-Man and Ms. Pac-Man have sex
- Everything must have an ending except my love for you.
- We're bandaging wounds you'll never have.
- socketes matures during 4 14 years. - reflections upon an obscure Dadaist genius in our midst; or, how I learned to stop worrying and love the troll.
- How to write an English paper and fail
- How I learned to stop practicing and love the something
- The Strange Love of Martha Ivers
- How to make love to a victim of sexual assault
- How I learned to stop worrying and love the LAPD
- How Do I Love?
- And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it hadn't been for you meddling kids!
- I don't know how to fall in love with a woman
- Do you even realize how much your spirit illuminates? It is like stars.
- How can an atheist have morals?
- Putting groceries in a paper bag
- How to have a great vacation in China without money
- how to nondestructively defeat a Scott toilet paper dispenser
- How to be a human in love and other impossible things
- How many geniuses have we lost this way?
- We'd all be better off if shaking hands were making love, and children were found in the cabbage patch.
- If we were machines, we'd have the gift of being eternal and I want you to understand
- How to have plausible deniability if caught in a medical situation involving rectal insertion.
- We Two, How Long We Were Fool'd
- How long does it take to fall in love?
- Today, after love, I looked at my lover
- How to tell when you have really messed up your relationship
- How to develop one side of your butt and still have the other one flabby
- Strange Fits of Passion Have I Known
- An Account of the Bash at Bier Baron in Celebration of CassParadox's Upcoming Migration to the West Coast, Wherein We Were Loved by All, and Even the Manager Sent Over Free Cream Puffs
- Who needs love when you can have death?
- The day I realized how sane I really am
- Oh! how I love, on a fair summer's eve
- I love you so much that I have to break up with you
- Buying lingerie for your lover
- Your girlfriend will never forget how adorable you were the first time you went
- I thought paper cuts were like lightning
- I don't think I realized what I had gotten myself into, but it seemed like the potential for fun and insanity were there in equal parts
- How we have grown apart
- Lost love - or how I grew to love the truck stop
- How and why do we (humans) have culture?
- I love you but you are not here, oh how my poor heart aches with angst
- How to "Have People"
- Becoming an idiot, or, How I learned to stop worrying and love my siblings
- How to have a Scotch Tasting
- How do you know if you have a sinus infection?
- If you don't know how to make a mu, you have no business measuring quantities that small.
- The "How many partners have you had" question
- Sex with a chicken
- Love is a strange and multifaceted fuckton of crazy
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