Perhaps traditional, or maybe some combination of Dr. Seuss, Eugene Poddany and Dale Marxen
My Uncle Walter goes waltzing with bears,
It's a most unbearable state of affairs,
Every Saturday night, he creeps down the stairs,
Goes out the back door and goes waltzing with bears.
Others have the first verse as:
Our Uncle Walter's not right in the head
He's been that way all of his life, mother said
Its not that he's violent or falls down the stairs
Its just he goes waltzing, waltzing with bears
He goes wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-waltzing with bears
Raggy bears, baggy bears, shaggy bears, too.
And there's nothing on Earth that Uncle Walter won't do
So he can go waltzing, wa-wa-wa-waltzing,
He can go waltzing, go waltzing with bears-bears.
I went to his room in the middle of the night,
I tiptoed inside and turned on the light,
But to my dismay, he was nowhere in sight,
I'm sure Uncle Walter was waltzing that night.
We bought Uncle Walter a new coat to wear,
But when he comes home it's all covered with hairs,
And lately we've noticed, there's several new tears,
We're sure Uncle Walter's been waltzing with bears.
We told Uncle Walter that he should be good,
And do all the things that we say that he should,
But we know that he'd rather be off in the wood,
And we're afraid that we'll lose him, we'll lose him for good.
We begged and we pleaded with Uncle Walter to stay, (or maybe we pleaded "oh please won't you stay")
And managed to keep him inside for a day,
But the bears all barged in and they took him away,
Now he's dancing with pandas and we don't understand it
But the bears all demand at least one waltz a day.
Some add additional verses:
We asked Uncle Walter just how it feels
To be light on your feet and kick up your heels,
And he said, "we will see what the music reveals
Tonight when the bears teach us polkas and reels."
That night, when the moon rose, we crept down the stairs;
He took me to dance where the bears have their lairs.
We danced in a bear hug with nary a care.
It all feels like flying, there is no denying,
And now my pajamas are covered with hair.
My Aunt Matilda was mad as could be.
"Walter, that rat, never waltzes with me!"
So she took her fur coat and remodeled it so
She can go waltzing, and Walter won't know.
She goes wa-wa-wa wa-wa-wa waltzing with bears.
Raggy bears, shaggy bears, baggy bears too.
And there's nothing on earth Aunt Matilda won't do,
So she can go waltzing, waltzing Matilda,
So she can go waltzing, waltzing with bears.
I snuck out the back door and over the wall.
The shadows were long, and I'm not very tall.
Then a bear came right over and offered his paw:
Now Walter and I are the belles of the ball!