Virtual Hourly Compensation

A term coined by Scott Adams, of Dilbert fame, and used in his book The Dilbert Principle (which, if you haven't got, get). Virtual Hourly Compensation is the total amount you get paid when at work, which does not just include wages or salary. (This is why the pay is so lousy. You have to consider all these intangibles.)

Virtual Hourly Compensation includes such things as:

• Bonuses
• company health plan
• stolen office supplies
• coffee
• personal phone calls
• days taken off sick when you're not sick
• time spent flirting with attractive coworkers...
• ...and, if you're lucky, office sex
• Internet
• photocopies
• job looks good on your future CV/resume

...all of which we get for free. I find Virtual Hourly Compensation is absolutely vital to the maintainance of any form of job satisfaction while the evil multi-tentacular corporate entity is busy trying to suck the life forces from your cold, overworked shell of a body. (Bitter? Me? Naaah.)

Linked to this is the Total Work Equation which states that the amount of actual work you do can decrease with a sufficient amount of looking like you're working.