Radar Detectors Illegal.

Speed limit enforced by aircraft.

Speed limit enforced by radar and other devices.

These are just a few of the many warning signs posted as you cross the border into Virginia. Perhaps I bitch about speed limits too much, but this needs saying...


The second you enter this godforsaken state on any Interstate you're assaulted with a barrage of warning signs telling you all the different ways your speed will be monitored for the next few miserable hours of your life. While you're reading these signs, you will inevitably crash and die, but don't worry: death is better than having to drive through Virginia.

Despite the fact that both North Carolina and West Virginia have speed limits of 70, Virginia has decided it wants to be anal and has set the speed limit at 65. Now this may not seem like a huge difference, but trust me it is. Moving on.

Going 90 mph is pretty much equivalent to murdering a busload of children in Virginia. This is apparent by the fact that many judges have started sending people TO JAIL for going over 90 mph on a highway. Yes, you read that correctly.

But forget 90, let's talk about going a reasonable 80 mph on a highway. According to Virginia, this is reckless driving and is punishable by 6 points on your license, and these points stay on your record for a mind-boggling ELEVEN YEARS. Failing to use your turn signals is also deemed "reckless driving", and a ticket for reckless driving pretty much means your life is over. You'll have to sell your house and everything in it, your car, your soul and you'll probably have to sell your children into slavery just to pay the fine.

If you're speeding through an intersection, you lose the right of way. This means the moron that pulls out in front of you gets to sue YOU for the damages to his car/health caused by his own incompetence. This will in turn lead to your insurance premiums becoming roughly the same amount of money as the GDP of a small country.

Traffic cameras are also coming to Virginia. Currently, neighboring car-hating state Dreary-land has implemented a program where passing a speed camera going as much as 1 MPH over the posted speed limit in a freeway work zone is punishable by a $1000 ticket. Yes, $1000! Virginia is implementing a similar program that will have a "slightly reduced" fine of $500. These fines are completely ridiculous as evidence shows that only 15% of all injuries in work zones are caused by automobiles. Red light cameras are already in play in Virginia, despite the fact that a study done in 2007 questioned their effectiveness.

For the life of me, I don't understand how a state that is as large and as widespread as Virginia can impose such insane legislation when it comes to cars. Even the lawmakers have to drive to work after all...oh wait, that's right, they all take their helicopters to work or get driven around by a short, toothless man from West Virginia called Barry. If you live in Virginia, do us all a favor and call your local state legislator. Give 'em a good talking to and let them know that the people of the real world, who occasionally need to get somewhere in a timely fashion, hate your fucking stupid, ridiculous, inane, profit-driven money making schemes, and we would like to be able to drive from one side of the state to the other without being robbed by the government or thrown in prison.


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