Oh hello, is that the CIA, erm, the spies thing... American?
Yes sir you're reaching the CIA
, what can we do?
I'm phoning from England
its prey tonight.
The wildebeest will stalk its prey
That's what I just said.
R: (deep breath)
, wrong person, wrong person, slipup, er, poison
-tipped umbrellas and cyanide
, yes, er, I am myself very high up in the British government
Erm, I work for...
Yes sir, I don't understand why you're calling.
Well I work for Ipswitch
Town Council, have you heard of that?
Right, we deal with the pencil
sharpening, the rubber bands
, that sort of thing, I work as I say...
Sir, I need to know right away
why you're calling us, I have other calls coming in.
Right, okay. THRUSH
I beg your pardon?
. I have had dealings with THRUSH.
Sir, I'm afraid I have no idea
what you're talking about.
Well it's quite simple, I spoke to your president
last week and I said that I wanted to become a spy
, to work for the spy thing, the CIA
, and he said phone you...
Yes sir you would have to send in a resume
to the employment
Do you have GCSE
I have no idea what those are sir.
They are examinations, I've got one at looking at people through glasses that look backwards
and I was also once involved in an incident involving Sir Anthony Blunt
and a bubble car
and some KY jelly
... so would that be enough for the CIA?
Er, yes sir...
Right, I've got a set of I Spy
Sir, we don't deal in spy books
Oh right, that's alright then, lovely, that's all I wanted to know. Oh before I go, there is one thing
I have to say, I have to say
What is that sir?
Well, I know you're going to think this sounds utterly ridiculous
Yes sir, go ahead.
I know you're going to think this sounds utterly ridiculous but... alel blehr leh! Bhurdle addle ep! (a series of nonsense noises which have to be heard to be appreciated)
Sir... (hangs up)
No! No please don't go! I've always thought I had a bit of private dick