Ah,
Val Venis.
Val (real name Sean Morley) debuted for the
World Wrestling Federation in mid-1998. Vignettes aired on
WWF
programming for weeks and weeks leading up to his arrival promoted him as a male
porn star who was going to try his
had at a presumably related field,
professional wrestling. Or something.
He came out to psuedo-porn music, wore a towel to the ring, did a little striptease, and made some innuendo comparing
his sexual prowess to whichever town he was in. "Well, the Big Valboski has been in
New York for three days now,
and I've got to tell you: I came, I saw...I came again!"
He was soon the central figure in what was quite possibly the "Most offensive angle to the widest possible range of
people" in wrestling history, and I'm including the
Brian Pillman gun angle in this estimation. He was feuding with
Kaientai--the original 5-member Kaientai, not just Taka and Funaki. Who can forget Wally Yamaguchi, who was
married to an
underaged, submissive girl who was supposed to be Taka's sister? But anyway, this wonderful angle
culminated in Kaientai wanting to "choppy choppy his pee-pee," and they did--right on live television. Someone's head
was in the way, but it was very clear what was going on. The WWF mumbled something about it not really happening
later, but it's one of those things they don't mention anymore. See "
Gobbledygooker, The." To paraphrase
Stanley
Goodspeed, "it's one of those things the WWF wishes they could disinvent."
Well, anyway, Val kept on with the same
porn star gimmick for several years to moderate success, even winning the
WWF Intercontinental Championship briefly in early 1999. It began to get tired, though, and Venis was soon relegated
to the third-string shows like Heat and Jakked. To freshen up the character, Venis turned heel in 2000 and rejected his
venerable porno background, taking on
Trish Stratus as a manager and teaming with
Test and
Albert on many
occasions.
After a few months of that forgettable teaming, Venis was kidnapped by the
Right to Censor and brainwashed into
becoming a member. The RTC "uniform" was black pants, a white shirt, and a black tie, but Venis wore all-white for the
first few weeks, leading many to call him the
Good Humor Man. That's not really here nor there, but it's funny. He
stayed with RTC until their breakup in mid-2001, and he hasn't been seen much on television since then.
Oh yeah...in real life, Morely is a pretty active
conservative. I've heard him speak on the radio and a few
talk shows, and he actually comes off sounding
intelligent. Not bad considering he's a castrated former
porn star who dresses like the
Good Humor Man.