So you hate someone and you want them to suffer for a long time in a way they won't soon forget, but how to provide them with a terrible fate while expending the least amount of capital? Simple: Cheap, effective Urushiol Oil. Urushiol oil is the thing that makes poison ivy so evil; it causes very painful rashes that will not go away for weeks.

To Utilize Urushiol Oil You will need:

1 pair of elbow length rubber gloves 1 large zip lock bags 1 old unused food blender 1 coffee filter 1 disposable plastic container 1 refillable aerosol type pumpable spray bottle (mine came from a kitchen supply company called The Pampered Chef, but I'm sure you can get them elsewhere) 1 prime location for poison ivy growth

Step 1: The collection

Take your zip lock bag and your rubber gloves out for a little walk to the poison ivy grove; If you live in the northeast united states you'll have no trouble finding one. Equip those gloves and start picking, taking only the leaves and leaving the stalks. Be careful not to let the ivy touch anything but the gloves and the bag or you'll be dealing with a very painful and long lasting rash. You should also be very careful not to let your gloves touch anything but the bag; the oil will rub off the gloves onto your clothes and skin. You might want to pick some Jewelweed while your out there- it's a fine treatment for poison ivy, just in case you get some on you. Once you've got a full bag of ivy you'll be ready for the next step.

Step 2: The liquefaction

Get out that old blender that you never ever want to use again for anything edible, and put on the gloves.

Be Very Careful Now, I Cannot Stress This Enough

Carefully add two parts ivy leaves to one part water into your blender. Seal the lid on your blender as tight as is possible. Puree the leaves until you have a watery liquid with no discernable pieces floating around. Once you're done with that, we'll be moving right along to the third and final step.

Step 3:The filtering

This step is easy. Put the coffee filter in the plastic container and pour your liquid into it. Throw away the pulp and pour your newly formed death juice into the pumpable spray bottle.

You now have the finest cheap natural chemical warfare in the Northeast United States and Canada. Use it wisely and keep it away from your skin with the greatest of vigilance.

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