What can I say? I've just been re-reading some of your
emails from
days gone by. Each one stuns me with its
depth and
thought. It makes me wonder why you put so much
time into writing to me. Even the short, seemingly insignificant messages reveal so much care. It puzzles me. How have you come to be such an
amazing person? In the few months I have known you I have been able to express feelings that I haven't told other people that I have known for years. I just hope that, as we deepen our
knowledge of each other, walls are not built. I don't want to lose the wonderful
connection I cherish so. You are a
rare and precious person and I wouldn't want to lose sight of such a gem. Still, though, I can't help but wonder. What has happened in your life to make you such a private person? Why do you feel so much older than you are? There is so much that I want to know about you. Every time we meet this desire is multiplied tenfold. I haven't felt this sort of intense,
unquenchable interest about someone in a long time. Too long.
Seeing you smile and observing your reactions to our conversations is incredibly fulfilling. I've never seen someone react that way to my words. I don't feel like I deserve them. What will happen when you see the weak individual within me? The scared, insecure fool who never knows what to say. This person is a far cry from what you see in my emails, although I am finding it easier to open myself up more. Vulnerability is a difficult thing to deal with. I just hope you feel the same level of comfort in regards to me. Right now I suppose that hope and faith are the things I should cling to. I'm not sure if I will ever send you this message. It seems to me that such feelings should be shared in person, and not through such an unintentionally alienating medium as this. Now I just need to find the courage to once again risk myself. Hopefully it will be worth it in this case.