This is just the good stuff.

This work was produced entirely from memory based on my four years of active duty on board the USS Rentz (FFG-46) from 1984 through 1988. USS Rentz is the only US War Ship to be named after a Chaplain (George Snavely Rentz). Its unofficial motto while I was serving aboard as a Quartermaster was "Run away! Run away!"

There are a number of available works about American and British naval jargon, acronyms, terms, and slang, but this is NOT derived from them. For those desiring to learn more, I list the two most commonly cited works at the bottom. Several of the words and phrases listed below do not appear in those resources. These terms are not being claimed as exclusive to the US Navy. Many are in use in other branches of the military, as well as amongst civilians.

Those who are easily offended by blue language (aka cursing, swearing, or profanity) should understand that these are actual terms used daily by thousands of sailors without a thought. In the context of a military environment such terms are normally uttered with no realization that they could be offensive. It is not uncommon for new members of the military, typically young men and women home from boot camp for the first time, to sit at their first dinner with the family and utter the immortal phrase, "Excuse me, Mom. Could you please pass the fucking butter?"

waah fuckin' waah
General response to any complaint.

Sailor 1: But I don't wanna go to the Persian Gulf!
Sailor 2: Waah, fuckin' waah.

put the goddamn next to the motherfuck
General instruction to move one object next to another object.

Notes: I first heard this phrase used in 1986 by our Chief Gunner's Mate. I had never considered the creative use of an expletive as a noun. The diminutive construction of motherfucker was also new to me.

I'm going to ream you a new asshole
Standard threat used to encourage improvement in one's work habits.
(noun) A waste receptacle. (verb) To discard something.

Shitcan that shit in the shitcan.

Notes: The instructors at the Recruitment Training Command (boot camp) in Great Lakes, IL actually enforced the use of this term for referring to waste receptacles. It was explained that as we would need to master nautical jargon in general, this was as good a place to start as any.

broke dick or tits up
Alternate phrases for "not functioning."

You cannot use the radar repeater on the bridge. It is broke dick. We replaced it with a good one, but that one went tits up as well.

Notes: I particularly like the equal attention paid to the two genders in this pair of phrases.

cluster fuck
A confusing situation, typically involving numerous participants.

The 2000 Presidential Election in the United States was a real cluster fuck.

A toilet, commode, water closet, or urinal.

After 16 cans of beer the Signalman needed to use the head.

Notes: A sailor on the vessel to which I was indentured went under the pseudonym, Meat. He acquired this affectionate name because of the massive size of his primary sex organ. I mention him only because in the context of defining this term I cannot help but recall Meat squatting with his feet on the rim of the toilet to urinate as his member was so large it would dangle in the toilet bowl's water had he sat in the standard manner. Meat could also be enticed with twenty-five cents to rest his large member on the pillow of one of our sleeping shipmates. We would subsequently wake the unsuspecting shipmate, then titter with glee at the ensuing distress.

Uncle Ronnie's Canoe Club
Term used during the 1980's for the United States Navy.
birth control glasses (BCGs)
Standard military issue glasses similar to those worn by Buddy Holly.

Notes: The term is apparently derived from the fact that the wearing of such glasses made the wearer so ugly that no one would want to breed with them.

pus rocket
A hot dog.

Those pus rockets we had for lunch were quite tasty.

Notes: See slider

A hamburger.

Might I please have a slider with my pus rocket, sir?

Notes: See pus rocket

A Selected List of Useful Navy Acronyms

Situation Normal, All Fucked Up
Fucked Up Beyond All Repair
Head Up The Ass
Bend Over, Here It Comes Again
Fun in the Navy (alternatively, Fuck The Navy)
Do I Look Like I Give A Fuck
Fuck It, I've Got My Orders
Stand The Fuck By

For more information:

Jolly, Rick and Wilson, Tugg. Jackspeak : The Pusser's Rum Guide to Royal Navy Slanguage. Cornwall, England : Deltor Communications (1989) OCLC # 22853343

Crowell, Jeff ( Naval Terminology, Jargon and Slang FAQ (part 1 as of 30 July 2001) (part 2 as of 30 July 2001)

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