Twobicle

The "twobicle", as reported by Australian Cleo (December 2000), is a toilet cubicle with two toilets in it. The commodes sit side by side, and obviously allow two people to "go about their business" without a wall or barrier between them. This craze has been implemented in several London nightclubs and is beginning to spread world-wide, according to the well-known font of all information, Cleo .

It is presumed by both myself and the author of the Cleo article that this phenomenon is largely a female-oriented movement. So is this a good thing, or merely a fad which will fade in time?

First we must question the need for such a "twobicle". Granted, women often go to the toilets in pairs or groups. There are a multitude of reasons for this event, which usually include the following facts:

• Girls/women like to talk to each other. In nightclubs and pubs there is rarely a quiet corner where they can chat, and they must retreat to the toilets to discuss the goings-on as a result.
• The women want to discuss the men they are hanging out with in private.
• The women want to discuss the other women who are present, and want to bitch about them in private.
• They need advice from their friend: on make-up, amount of cleavage they're showing, and what move they should make on that spunky guy from the sandwich shop.

From these points, it is evident that women are social creatures. As a result, they can bear not even a wall between them as they do a Number One or Two, lest they speak too quietly and their friend misses a word or two, or vice versa.

Perhaps this is the reason for the new "twobicles". The women wish to be closer to each other, sharing more during their time in the powder room. And closer they shall be.

Speaking of the "powder room", such a toilet stall would give drug users a much larger space to move about in as they inject/snort/smoke their drug of choice. Or for finangling couples to roll around, or go at it against the wall. Girls, how many times have you seen two people (of either sex) exit a toilet stall, eyes bright, hair tousled, clothes askew? If only they'd had the "twobicle". Their drug/ sexual experience would have been much more comfortable and spacious.

While that may all seem well and good, it leaves one wondering about where society is going. It is leaving no barriers. We have nothing to hide and nothing to be embarrassed about. What's next? No toilet walls at all? No toilet blocks at all? Are we going to urinate/defecate out in the open, merely so we can talk to our friends as we do so? This will reduce us to the level of animals, just walking around, doing our day-to-day stuff, eating, drinking, dropping our pants and letting the pee fly. Wait, guys do that now- it's already started!

We must stop this menace in its tracks before it spreads to every toilet block. Don't let a few drugged-up sex maniacs in England ruin urinating for the rest of us.

If you get the chance, say NO to the "twobicle".