Turner the Worm is a comic strip written by Paul Rose (of ex-Digitiser, Knife and Wife fame, and now a script writer on Eastenders) which appears on Teletext on Channel 4 in the UK.

Due to the technical limitations of the format, the frames of this televisual comic are limited to 40x25 pixel resolution, and 8 colours, with the addition of text characters in place of 'pixels'. Still it manages to look well drawn, and is an entertaining read.

Turner the Worm stars the title character, and his friend “Glug”, the slug. Usually the plot involves some bad guy trying to destroy the world (most often in the shape of the mechanically-obsessed "Otto Matik"), with Turner & pals saving it in some roundabout way over a series of month long adventures. Yes – it's rubbish, but rubbish in that certain good, slightly intentional way which often makes things rather appealing. The humour is quite off-the-wall at times (after all, it does come from Paul 'Mr. Biffo' Rose) despite the comic being aimed at kids. The comic must have been airing for at least 10 years, as I remember reading it at the young age of 9. Turner also presents the entire kids section of Channel 4's Teletext pages, with Glug doing the jokes page.

I believe that Turner was inspired by it's predecessor “Barney's Bunch”, which disappeared before Turner started airing. It's even harder to find information about Barney's Bunch than it is Turner the Worm, so please – if you even remember it then drop me a line.

That's about all that can be said about our slimy friend. There isn't much written on the 'net about the cartoon, in fact I'd wager that this short brief is the longest Turner article on the entire Internet. One last thing worth mentioning however; when Paul Rose parted with Digitiser on unfriendly terms, he managed to include a lot of crude images in the pages without being censored. The most famous of all went a little something like this:

           ***        ****    **       *********                          #############             
          ******    ******  *****      *********   THE REAL            ##################           
          *****'    *****   *****        ******     TURN  ER         ## ## #################        
***     **********  *****   *****       **** **       THE            ############################   
****    *** *************   ******    ****** **     WORM             ###############################
*******************************************  **     BEING                 ##########################
***********************************************     SICK             ###############################
  *********************************************                        ##################### #######
    ************************************ ******                          ########## ######## #######
     ***********************************  *****                          ****      ######### ###### 
     ***********************************   ****                          ***         ###### ####### 
    ******************************************                           ***            ## ####### #
  ****** ******  *****************************                            **             ####### ###
 ******   ****   *******   ***************                                                   # #####
****************************************************   ***  ..  ..        **                  ######
***************************************************** ****  **  **        **                  ######

(or see image at http://www.moleman.freeserve.co.uk/newsite/Digitiser-FinalGamingGlory_files/Revealed1.gif)

This obviously phallus representation of Turner 'being sick' remains one of the all time great televised cum shots involving a children's cartoon character.

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