Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "Top ten ways the Bible would be different if it were written by college students"

• If anything were different, everything would be different
• If only our tongues were made of glass, how much more careful we would be when we speak.
• If I were Twenty-One I would determine, even if I could never be anything else in the world, that I would be a thoroughbred
• If Christianity were true, why would there still be any Jews?
• You meant for this node to be read by me, and I would like to respond
• grumbling dissertation on how everything would be much better if it all were to explode
• If there were more people like you, there would be less people
• And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music
• If I were Twenty-One I would be happy
• Open source cars would be doing 200 mpg by now
• people who were not to be trifled with; people who would dance, and had no notion of walking
• when I am King, we will have no such things, but, my lads, if the old king my father were dead, we would be all kings.
• if everyone were 10% more good, there would be a 90% reduction in evil
• If poetry could describe the way you make me feel, poetry would be illegal. Or anyway I might get arrested.
• If you were a vegetable, what kind of vegetable would you be? (registry)
• The Ten Commandments revised
• If there were more people like you, there would be more people
• Proposed: The only way for a woman to achieve true ecstacy is to allow herself to be taken by the Goat God in the Circle of Candles on a moonless night
• If language were liquid, it would be rushing in
• Top ten ways to fuck up your kids
• The mud pit, the last night we were all college students together
• If we were all part of one big television show, seriously, you'd be a poorly written character
• If you were a perfume, your name would be "Butterflies"
• The world would be in much better shape if our leaders were hamsters
• Come be Entertained by Baltimore's Divine Waters
• You find yourself being chased not only by the bad guys, but also by what should be the good guys
• what would it take to be serene again?
• The tallest blade of grass is the first to be cut by the lawnmower
• If I was any good at this, I would be getting paid
• How the Internet came to be: On use by other networks
• You don't get to be a wizard by collecting bottlecaps
• how many bird nests would be made from her lovely hair
• AI should be our top priority.
• In the movie of his life, the part of Keanu Reeves will be played by a block of wood, and the critics will pan it for being too expressive
• If all you did was node, your writeups wouldn't be very interesting, would they?
• What it's like to be raided by the FBI
• eternity would be boring
• Now this is the way the Internet is supposed to be!
• As nuclear explosions ravage New York City, the apartment block residents rush downstairs to escape the building, only to be forced into the basement by further explosions.
• If you would be so kind
• You are a weaponsmith in an open field. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.
• History should be a hammock for swinging and a game for playing, the way cats play
• I never thought it would be like this
• Nah, these random encounters with beautiful strangers won't destroy me at all. But I guess I thought it'd be a good way to die at the time.
• It is never too late to be what you would have been
• The monsters of the past will be long forgotten by the time the general populace is ever forgiven
• Given that a and b are integers, a^2 = b^3, and a is even, prove that a must be divisible by 4
• Every day, in every way, I strive to be a danger to myself and others
• If you loved her, you'd be home by now
• A kiss may not be the truth, but it is what we wish were true
• University students can be really stupid
• twelve ways to do and be is enough for cats
• If there were a slight, let it be fulsome
• Statements that would be shocking to people living in 1985
• He made me promise I would do this when I was next sad. So I promised myself I would not be sad again.
• Those who are as a light in the darkness shall ever be troubled by moths
• We knew there would be kissing, and breasts
• you are likely to be eaten by a grue
• The way that can be spoken of is not the true way
• It would be a less interesting world if we all walked and skipped alike, and never fell from bicycles.
• I really came to understand that they were just real people who wanted to live real lives and be treated equally as opposed to, for example, wanting to destroy us.
• And the rest shall be written in the pages of future past.
• this is unlike the story it was written to be
• What tasty food would be distusting if eaten over rice?
• The easier option would just be to electroplate the chicken.
• Would I have hid myself away if I had known I'd never be found?
• Sushi would be what sophisticated human aliens would eat.
• If everyone had a flower instead of a gun, there would be no more war
• The Teach Yourself to be a Dummy in 24 Hours Bible
• Never Again Would Birds' Song Be the Same
• The Filesystem That Would Be King
• Sometimes friendships were meant to be destroyed
• Social contract theory = Treat people the way you want to be treated
• If she were an insect, she'd be a moth in search of a flame
• Went to Coney Island on a Mission From God... Be Back by Five
• Rules by which a great empire may be reduced to a small one
• Any exercise can be made harder by going slower
• A whimper would be fine
• The Scots Confession: Chapter 18
• I want to be abducted by aliens
• I set the alarm clock anyway, knowing I would be up all night
• What would existence be like for a child born with no senses?
• If ifs and ands were pots and pans there'd be no work for tinkers
• We'd all be better off if shaking hands were making love, and children were found in the cabbage patch.
• If not for bras there would be far too little between men and breasts.
• I wish I knew how it would feel to be free
• What it's like to be questioned by the FBI
• Marvellous, I'm probably going to be eaten by a wild boar
• It is not known why a goose would be used in this manner
• If I was the ocean, what would you be to me?
• it would be hilarious if only
• Why would a lapsed Catholic want to be married in the church?
• Where we're headed, you'll be looking backwards
• They left the streets stained with blood, and their howling could be heard long after they were gone
• Professor Evil, prepare to be struck down by this shovel I found over in the corner! For JUSTICE!
• Laugh now, because tomorrow I will be ten stories tall and I could just step on you if I want
• Statements that would be shocking to people living in 1795
• If we classified ducks as monsters, well, that would be pretty accurate.
• I figured things would be okay once the werewolf started to cry
• Friend, you have a lot to learn if you think loving me would be a bad idea.
• Suicide is punishable by resurrection. There will be no exceptions.
• If voting changed anything, they would make it illegal
• If not voting could change the system it would be illegal
• The best kind of bartender
• Once upon a time, I imagined she would be a river
• How could anybody know how we got to be this way?
• Would you be more of a Jekyll or a Hyde?
• If you would be seated
• i don't spend a lot of time thinking about what it feels like to be gored by a chainsaw
• That Would Be Enough
• Mandy would be happy if i died
• Nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
• Statements that would be shocking to people living in 1975
• Why it's good to be on top of Kmart hill
• I was supposed to be somebody by the age of 23
• If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him
• The way the music industry SHOULD be
• Words that can be written on a calculator
• I always knew I would have a 21st birthday but I never thought I'd be 21
• Mind without body
• Things I would be interested in seeing used in a literary context
• The Man Who Would Be King
• That I Would Be Good
• As you graduate from college, you are the most conservative you will ever be
• Don't be seduced by the taco bar
• College football must be preserved
• Why Star Trek: Series V would be a bad thing
• I cannot be touched by any of this madness
• Be cool in college
• I assumed we would not even be friends
• Without chemicals, life itself would be impossible
• Jack Kerouac's Skull To Be Auctioned Off By Christie's
• Might be like leftovers. Would not taste the same, however sweet.
• If the field of AI had tried building footballers rather than chess players, how might it be different today?
• It's not that we're more attractive in the darkness or that one of us may be drunk
• Just to see what it would be like
• In a world of blind people, c would be the speed of sound
• there are some things that can only be said at the top of a ferris wheel
• Whoso would be a man must be a nonconformist
• Be different, just like everyone else
• If I had called you, would you still be dead?
• Smoking to be banned on community college campuses
• World peace is a beautiful dream that will never be achieved by the human race
• Questions will be asked...AND DESTROYED! BY ANSWERS!
• Things never were what they used to be
• If I'd have shot her when I met her, I'd be out of jail by now.
• You do realise that this is going to be our lives for the next ten years?
• It is far better to be bored by somebody else than to be bored by oneself.
• There's got to be a way to make it sweeter, a little more like lemon meringue
• The Way It's Meant To Be Played
• There has to be a better way to make human beings
• You are judged by the God that you choose to be judged by
• The woman had a carnivorous frenzy which could only be soothed by the succulent sirloin
• Life without music would be a mistake
• Sorrier than I ever thought I would be
• We do what we do because of who we are. If we did otherwise, we would not be ourselves.
• Linux would be dead without Windows
• The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost.
• The next time they would come, I would not be here.
• Your noise would not be missed here.
• This would be so dirty if we weren't all professionals
• If by Dull Rhymes our English must be Chain'd
• The Saudis were terrified that someone was going to be a better Muslim than they were
• "Life" appears to be a zero-sum structure, but we're running the numbers again
• Speed limits were made to be broken
• I thought that I wanted this. I didn't realize it would be so hollow
• Unraveling things you would never be able to say with words.
• Waiting for the show to be over. In oh-so-many ways.
• I Would Be Content To Live For But A Day
• Although you are right, you were wrong to be confident
• Would you take your shoes back now, i think I know what it is like to be you.
• To be hoist by one's own petard
• What Weakness To Be Struck Down By A Phantom
• I want to be woken by you climbing through my window

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