Don’t interpret this as me preferring death and endings over life and new beginnings. I’d rather hear news of a happy couple opening the door of their life together
than see the lid close on a life already lived
. But the ceremonies that I’ve attended have been . . . well, stressful. Surprisingly, coffin lids seem better oiled than chapel doors.
And now for the top 10:
10. It’s easier to take off from work for a funeral than a wedding.
9. Cemeteries are nicer meeting places than the insides of churches or reception halls, even in winter. Funeral homes usually have couches too.
8. Nobody obliges you to dance, act wild or overindulge in food and alcohol.
7. There is no expectation of gifts, only a card and consolation.
6. Funerals are (generally) quieter, without blaring music. People are also more willing to listen so communication is possible.
5. They’re shorter, so I can use the day for other things too.
4. There is no pressure to help make it “the best day” in someone’s life.
3. It’s easier to be invited to a funeral than a wedding, since nobody wants to leave you out. You’ll be more likely to meet people you already know or make new acquaintances.
2. Nobody expects you to pretend that you’re having a good time if the event becomes boring.
1. Nobody ever asks “so when do you think it will be your turn?”