So this guy's walking down the street one day, and he sees an old friend he hasn't seen in years. He says, "Hey, Bob! How are you?" Bob says, "Great! Hey, how'd you get that black eye?"
"You're one to talk; look at that shiner you're sportin' there, dude."
"Yeah," Bob says, "I was at the airport the other day, and the girl selling the tickets had these huge hooters. So I said, 'Could I have two pickets to Tittsburg, please?' She didn't appreciate my mistake and cold-cocked my ass. What happened to you?"
"Man, this is so weird: Almost the exact same thing happened to me! I was at the breakfast table the other morning, and my wife asked me if I needed anything. I meant to say, 'Could you hand me some orange juice, honey,' but I mistakenly said,
'You fat cunt; you ruined my fucking life!'"