OR: WHY COUNTRY MUSIC IS BAD
Note: Don't try this at home kids.
I've always lived in pretty rural areas like Detour, MD and York, PA, and there usually isn't much for a young person to do if he or she doesn't shoot heroin or want to increase the teen pregnancy rate.
However, one night several of us found the ultimate country leisure activity. Now, country music is a big thing in these areas, and it's a rare day when you don't hear someone blasting Brooks and Dunn or Toby Keith out of the windows of his monster truck. A bunch of us were working on fixing a clogged sink with a drain cleaner known as "The Works". Unfortunately the sink was made of aluminum and the cleaner contained hydrochloric acid. The sink fizzed and bubbled for about an hour.
Needless to say, we all thought that this was the coolest thing in the world.
For the next several days we would spend our time putting the drain cleaner into a two litre soda bottle with a pile of balled up chunks of aluminum foil. This would create an impressive bang.
Now gentle reader, I know that you are saying "What's the deal with Johnny Cash?" Well, if you remember that country music was big in the area you will guess that we all heard the song Burning Ring of Fire.
So, here is what you do:
1. Take a sheaf of newspaper
2. Roll/Twist it into a snakelike shape.
3. Tape it into a ring.
4. Fill the two-liter soda bottle (NOT GLASS) with about an inch and a half to two inches of aluminum foil balls.
5. Dump in some hydrochloric acid based drain cleaner.
6. Cap it QUICKLY
7. Put it in the newspaper ring that you've laid on the ground.
8. Light the newspaper
9. Get back about thirty feet or so.
This will create a massive explosion of pure hydrogen gas. There will be no shrapnel, and dogs will bark for about three miles.