Ah, to be an expert at the unappreciated
art of silence. I am not. When something whispers softly in my mind I never fail to blurt it out, not rarely at exactly the wrong moment to exactly the wrong person
I believe that everyone's mind is fitted with a sort of filter. Something that tells you when a comment is so monumentally out-of-line that your lips refuse to utter it. Unfortunately, there are so many ridiculously stupid things one wishes to say, that the filter is doomed to fail at times. Everything has a margin of error.
Less fortunate still, some poor afflicted souls, such as myself, find ways around this filter. Sure, one may not be able to speak ones opinion, but this filter grows weaker at the writing stage.
At least, faced with cold, hard, pen-on-paper evidence before you, staring at the ill-fated words one has written, there is a chance to tear it up, start over, forget ones silly confession.
But, no. Ominously lurks the Internet. Now, not only are you not face-to-face with a person, not only can you not hear their words and response, you may send this error of judgment instantly!
It seems there is no escape for unexplainable truth-tellers such as I. I have never kept a secret in my life. I stand before all stripped of any sense of privacy of mind. I still have a filter, of course, and I don't say too many rude things in the wrong company, but the fact remains, I am infallibly unsubtle.
To tell you the truth (as I tend to), I don't regret it. How little stress is involved with saying all you think, admitting what you feel. No "What if..."s of love undeclared, no "If only..."s of missed (at least verbal) opportunities. I've left my mark, I've said what I wanted to say, and that is how I hope to leave this world.