now that i've had you once though only in a dream
i imagine i can die peacefully. no remorse over never having held remains to be rectified or soothed by waking comforts. all is well, it seems, beause for once, i was able to call you my own.
we were so close, closer than we ever have been, and i never felt the fear of waking up too soon. there were others, though they kept their distance far enough removed so as to never warrant our defenses. i don't remember speaking nor hearing a word spoken; nevertheless, everything was understood, questions were strangely absent.
but no matter how perfect the scene, someday the snow globe will break, spilling false snow drifts and quaint, village characters into a world for which they appear unprepared and unable to survive. this hazy, dreamlike state of mine that i've grown too comfortable in was only waiting for your violent words, thrown indirectly and unknowingly into my sheltered mind, to sever the fabric of hope beyond mending.
and what if, in this world apart from slumbering thoughts, i never chance to hold you like i did there.. ?
(for this is likely to be my fate)
do i wish you pain, suffering equal to that which you've given me, various feelings, all unrequited and sharpened by time & mistaken motives, violent dreams with no end and no purpose...
no, i think not. i am the dreamer, fabricator of all things nonexistent, augmenter of all things tangible. you cannot claim guilt for being an innocent though marvelous bystander that i could never ignore. leave me my dreams of you & i captured in foggy twilight and i ask of you no more.
grant me what i am powerless to request of you