It's black, with white writing on the front that says, in scrawled letters:

Cat: the other white meat

My girlfriend got it for me, most likely at Hot Topic, because of my fascination with the idea that I was reincarnated from my last life as a golden retriever into my current more-or-less bipedal humanoid form. Yes, I like to chase cats, and yes, I like raw meat, and yes, if I can't figure out what to do with something, I will probably end up chewing on it. But that's not the point here.

The point is that I went to a mall a few weeks ago, and I was wearing the aforementioned garment. While I was in Pacific Sunwear, the clerk mentioned that he thought that shirt was "really funny... you know, in that sorta cute but sick way." No way you can describe it, I guess, but I suspected I was being hit on. A friend who was with me suspected the same thing, but we were willing to give him the benefit of the doubt--maybe he was just outspoken and friendly, like I usually am.

We blew it off, but about ten minutes later, a guy who was in line at Abercrombie and Fitch looked over at my shirt and giggled, and then grabbed his friend's elbow, and when his friend read the shirt, he giggled, too. These guys both looked vaguely German--short spiky $50 hair, narrow rectangular glasses, turtlenecks, and just very hip--so maybe they were just appreciating a gag in a different language. One gestured to his chest, underlining imaginary words with a fingertip, and smiled coyly; universal mime-speak for "the words on your shirt are funny," or maybe German mime-speak for "I'd like to slice your torso into 8" thick slices like a large human bratwurst." We'll assume he meant the former, since the guy who was with me--Jason--caught it, too. Besides, Mr. Teutonic fashion plate didn't appear to have a knife with him, nor did his friend.

As Jason and I discussed this coincidence, walking past an escalator, a guy walked up to me off the escalator and shook my hand. He paired it with a friendly "Hi," and then pointed to my shirt, and said "I don't get it man. What's it mean?"

"Well... it's cat. The other white meat."
"So, like, a house cat?"
"Yeah. I guess."
"Why is cat the other white meat?"
"Well, it's like that pork commercial: you know, pork, the other white meat. Only it's cat instead of pig."
"Oh. Oh, I get it. Ha ha ha! That's a funny shirt, man. Funny. So, do you, like... eat them?"
"Oh, yeah. They're great with ketchup."

I was still walking, and I guess I broke eye contact with him, because he wasn't there anymore. I'm certainly willing to write that one off as me not actually getting hit on, except that Jason said it probably was. That guy could've been high or clueless... I'm sure he could have been.

Still, it remains that I got hit on 3 times in one afternoon, by 3 different guys, because I was wearing a mildly humorous shirt that my girlfriend gave me! Given that I'm not gay, I'd say that's a bit of what Alanis Morissette would utterly fail to recognize as irony.

So is it a code-phrase? I've got a few gay friends, and none of them can figure it out. The shirt isn't a tight fit--that's the first question everyone asks. Other than that, well... I'm flattered, but I've got a girlfriend, guys. Someone clue me in to what I'm doing to attract guys, please? Better yet--do any of you straight girls out there have a shirt that gets you hit on by girls? I'd be happy to trade you...

I don't like to buy clothes. If by some odd chance I actually do find something that I like, I am disgusted by the fact that it was mass-produced and that countless others possess the exact same garment.

So I bought a package of print-your-own-iron-on paper, and a package of plain white Hanes men's V-neck t-shirts. My first creation was a picture of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles -- the original cartoon version that I'd fallen in love with as a child and never lost my affection for -- jacked from somewhere online, topped by the TMNT logo. Proud of my creation, but wondering how such a thing would go over within the snooty Baylor bubble, I wore it one day.

I have never had so many people talk to me in my life. One particular instance occurred as I hurried across campus from my place of employment to check my mail before heading home. Some guy I didn't even know, who was sitting with a group of people around the fountain, stood up on the cement wall and yelled for my attention. I had barely smiled and nodded and walked past when I heard another voice.

"Hey, I know that girl! She's really cool!" yelled a blonde young man -- Robert -- who had been in my astronomy class the previous semester and whom I had also seen at the initial meeting of the Literary Club. He was a theatre major... I'd seen him working at some of the plays.

Such a small thing, but it completely made my day. Until, of course, I actually got to my car with the intention of heading home... my car had sat with the inside lights on for a week, and the battery was beyond salvation. I got a v-shaped sunburn on my neck while waiting for my Aunt and Uncle to come to the rescue with a new battery.

The iron-on was of poor quality and has since become rather shredded, although still recognizable. I saw some Ninja Turtle shirts in a Hot Topic recently, too. It really pissed me off... I want no one else to infringe upon my fashion turf.

I still love that shirt, though. I wear it when I need to feel admired. I never considered it as being hit on, but it sure makes the guys yell.

Log in or register to write something here or to contact authors.