Get your fiction on.



This is Lucas's second session since the school board/parents became aware of the incident(s). Lucas is still unwilling to acknowledge his victim hood, and his reluctance to participate in his healing is indicative of deep emotional trauma. These events are truly unfortunate, and even as a medical professional, I can not be sure of their long-term ramifications. What this boy has suffered through is simply horrendous, and it is only through perseverance that we can hope to help him regain a normal life. As in many cases of sexual assault, Lucas is very reluctant to open himself up; indeed, it is likely that his mind has simply blocked these memories completely. We will be meeting again Thursday, but it is too early for us to expect any noticeable progress.


Chris: Hey got a smoke?
Lucas: Ya, sure. second.

C: Thanks. So, man, shit! I can't believe they've got you in therapy.
L: Well, you know, somebody has got to save the youth. What happened to Ms. T?
C: fired her...criminal charges too, I think. She was pretty hysterical on Friday, and she left at lunch, and then we heard Monday.
L: Heh.
C: heh. Fuck man; you're unbelievable.
L: No, I'm a victim.
C: Ya, you're always a victim. But serious man... how?
L: How?
C: Don't play dumbfuck.
L: what?
C: Fuck you.
L: Listen: it's simple. It's all basic psychology, it's all just recognizing what you're dealing with. She's young, she's getting into teaching, she's an idealist; there's certain things you can count on in that type. The girls you're fucking in the janitor's closet aren't the girls who want to be teachers. You just gotta recognize the type.
C: The type? like--
L: She's what...24, you figure? And you know she didn't get laid in highschool--
C: What? Why? I mean, she's pretty hot...
L: Man, that doesn't fucking matter. Take a look sometimes, at the quiet girls in the back. Give them a couple years to fill out, give them an ingrained sense of inadequacy, give them a desire to be, for once, the pretty girl; get them working out, dressing better; in 5 years, it'll be those quiet girls that get your dick hard, not the girls who would blow you on the bus in middle school. and I promise, I mean promise, that it's those girls who're going to want to be teachers.
C: you're a fucking hazard, you know that?
L: And so you have these people. Never had their hearts broken, though they'll tell you they have. Never really been in love either, but they don't know that. They think they're finally getting the world under control, but they're still just naïve little girls. It's fish in a barrel, man.
C: A fucking hazard.
L: Ya, I got it.



Lucas is responding poorly to our sessions. I suspect that he has developed an understandable fear of authority figures, and it will be hard for me to help him unless I can first show him that he can trust me. This, I suspect, will just take time. Today we spent about half an hour talking, and I feel that we are beginning to develop a rapport. I hope that we can begin to build on this next week, and I hope to begin dealing with the issues at hand, optimistically within the next four sessions.



We at the board have reviewed your letter, and we find your explanation and apology simply inadequate. While we appreciate your acknowledgement that your actions were inappropriate, you cannot expect us to believe that you were taken advantage of by a 16 year old boy. We, as a public institution, have an obligation to our students, their parents, and to the community to ensure the safety of the children in our care. Regardless of the pleas you might make, we have no choice but to initiate legal action.


03.08.02 (CONTD):

C: So--
L: So. So what we have is a girl, 24, pretty limited sexually--sure, I mean she's had the odd boyfriend, but they're a pretty limited sort, basically her-as-a-boy types, quiet and nice--nothing really aggressive or special, basic boys-you-want-to-show-your-mother types. The aggressive boys, the ones who run shit now, they've always pretty much overlooked her, because they still just want to fuck, and they havn't hit that late-twenties-I-want-a-challenge, gonna-break-me-a-nice-girl sort of phase; so she really doesn't have very much experience at all with being played, like it's just sort of outside of her realm of experience. She's had, simply, the poor fortune of having been surrounded by nice, honest, honorable, decent boy--
C: Pussies.
L: Exactly. The whole notion of somebody being complete bullshit, of being taken advantage of, that's soap-opera shit to her. That's TV.
C: alright....
L: Fish in a barrel, dude.
C: Still, that sounds like a pretty rare collection of character traits.
L: Not so much as you might think. How many quiet girls you think there are, here?
L: maybe... three or four in ten? Probably more. You don't think about it, 'cause you don't notice them. Now, lets say about half of them are quiet because they've always been quiet, and they don't really know any other way; that half secretly resents it. The other half, they're either quiet because they don't feel particularly attuned to the people around them, or they're really shy. Now, a lot of that first half are going to start fucking everything in sight once they're in university; they're going to try to escape. The other half though, they're going to keep being quiet girls. They'll go to classes, get good grades, and do their homework on Saturday night. Whatever there excuses are, by now they're simply scared of anything else; they've been quiet along time, and they've gotten good at it.
C: Comfortable.
L: Exactly. Let's be conservative. We're going to lose some of them over the years, to this or that... but lets say that in the end, 5-10% of girls are this very standardized quiet type.
C: alright.
L: But this is the beautiful bit. Half...maybe more than half, but lets stay conservative...half of those girls, we already know what they're going to do.
C: Teach.
L: See? So whereas before, your odds of finding one of these girls might be pretty low, now they're great. overall, maybe as high as one in three. I don't know, for sure.
C: I still don't think that's an acceptable explanati--
L: No, it's not. It is, however, a very important factor. Don't forget, these are girls who've decided to become teachers. If you catch them young, they've still got that idealism. Not only that, but the young ones also want desperately for their students to like them.
C: heh. Bastard.
L: Logic man. Mathematics.



I feel that Lucas is finally starting to open up. We had a lengthy discussion today about his family and his home life, and his willingness to talk is encouraging. He seems to genuinely enjoy my company, and to treat me more like a friend than yet another authority figure. He was smiling and laughing today, and I am much more optimistic about Lucas's ability to cope with his situation than I was when we first met.



C: So how can you be sure that the individual you're dealing with is one of these?
L: Well, you can't, right off the bat. You can get a pretty good idea, based on how they dress, how they act--
C: In what regard?
L: High school is fresh in their minds. You and I, generally, would represent the boys that didn't notice her back in the day. Similarly, she can see all of her former classmates in her current students. She can't be overt or anything, and often times it isn't even conscious, but how she acts towards the kids in her class betrays her subconscious feelings. All teachers, in every class, will develop a stronger relationship with one or two students than with the rest. It's a coping mechanism. By identifying those students, you can identify the character traits in those students that that teacher finds appealing.
C: Like Mr. Handleson, and taut cheerleader types.
L: Well, that's a particularly overt example, but it works. I would hypothesize , based on your observation, that Mr. H didn't get into many too-short-athletic-shorts when he was younger, and mourns missed opportunities.
C: Just like that.
L: Well no... that's just one possibility. I wouldn't even say that that is a particularly likely possibility; his behavior is the sort of thing that could be driven by any number of factors.
C: Like he's a dirty old man.
L: That is not only legitimate, but entirely likely. He could also have been the football-captain type who's never really fit in since high school, and is trying to recapture his glorious youth; he could just be sexually frustrated, and takes it out on people he's hoping won't slap him with a harassment suit. You can't be certain, but you can make some guesses.
C: If it's just guessing, than why not suppose he's an alien who's digestive tract is best suited to smooth skin and shiny teeth?
L: Observe, Deduct, Conclude. Floating probabilities.
C: Of course.
L: You observe people's behavior. See how they act, how they respond to certain situations.... See whether they walk with their head up, see how they handle things they're unsure of. Compare the things you observe with things you know. Based on that, you can make certain educated guesses as to root causes, etc. Humanity is a very complex mathematical system, but we all follow basic rules. We react to events in certain basic ways. Observe the responses, and you can identify the causal events. Once you have narrowed down possible truths, each one becomes a probability. As you add more information, your set of possibilities is refined. Some become more probable, some become less probable. When you feel confident, make a conclusion.
C: What if you're wrong?
L: It happens. A lot. Your conclusions can't be cast in stone; with every added piece of information, they must be able to shift and change.
C: Floating probabilities.
L: Right.
C: How do you test a hypothesis? How do you prove a theory?
L: You can't.
C: Period?
L: Pretty much. If in talking to them, they spill their life's story, and it matches your profile, that's about as good as you can do. But you can never be sure.
C: They lie?
L: Good call. Yes; people will always lie. Which means you can only trust them so far as what they say agrees with your observations.
C: What if your observations and what you're told are miles apart?
L: Some people react very randomly to things. Some people are just compulsive liars. Some people's reactions are logical, but so excursive as to be essentially random. Some people are insane.
C: What do you do with them?
L: I used to try and figure them know, savor the challenge. I learnt pretty quick it's a much better idea to just get the hell out of Dodge.
C: Dodge?
L: It was a city. In Kansas.
C: I don't get it.
L: It means remove yourself from the situation. Post haste.
C: I still don't get it.
L: Listen, it doesn't matter. It's just a saying.
C: Pretty stupid saying.
L: Whatever.



Lucas has really opened up these last couple of days. I feel that our comfort level has increased tremendously; having gotten to know him, I think he's a tremendous kid, and his courage throughout this whole deal is commendable. He is understandably reluctant, but we have begun to address the issues at hand, and the journey towards fully understanding and accepting this unfortunate incident is underway.

03.16.02 (CONTD):
L: Make sense?
C: For the most part.
L: Be rational, be reasonable, think things through, and you can do whatever you want.
C: Don't you mean whoever?
L: Whatever.
C: Was that last whatever dismissive, or corrective?
C: Sorry.
L: Right. Where was I?
C: You were explaining how you're a freak.
L: More specifically?
C: Sorry.
L: Alright. Anyway:
C: When do you have to leave?
L: I've got an appointment at 4:30.
C: Therapy?
L: Right.
C: Can't you blow it off? I wanna go grab a bite.
L: Ah, I'd hate to let down my therapist.
C: Right. So you coming?
L: No, serious. She's such a nice girl.
C: Dude.
L: heh.
C: You're a bastard.
C: You're a threat to the free world.
L: So later?
C: Later.



I am writing you concerning Lucas Bonding. It is my opinion as a professional that there is simply nothing I can do for this young man. As such, this letter is to notify you of the immediate termination of this professional relationship.


Dana McShane

Log in or register to write something here or to contact authors.