Ah, remember the good old days of the Internet, when you'd come upon a photograph purporting to present a celebrity posing as a porn star? You could usually tell pretty much right away that it was a cut and paste job -- the head and body sizes wouldn't match up quite right, or the skin tone or complexion would be off by just so much. And even if they weren't, you'd be saying to yourself, "Michelle Pfeiffer's tits are not nearly that big". Body type can be, after all, as characterstic of a person's identification as their facial features.

So, this is where the advent of advancing technology comes to the fore. Modern computer modelling programs can do wonders with the map of the human body, as evinced by films like Avatar, convincing physicality can now be generated digitally.

"Enough talk!!" you may be grumbling, "how will the thing work?" Why, it's simple -- the future tech (we'll call it the "celebriskinomatic") will be a computer program in which you do no more than input a few dozen pics of your favorite celeb (male or female, by the way), from different angles and in different positions, including some head shots boasting varying facial expressions. The program will recognize where in the scheme of things the person is and will render a detailed, lifelike three dimensional digital construct of the celeb. Next step, the program will delve into its pre-loaded vast database of accurately rendered anatomical features (specifically, the "naughty bits") and will select those features that most seamlessly match up to the anatomical aspects of the celeb which were input through pics. Now the magic happens. Once the program has rendered your high res digital nude celeb model, you can do with it what you want!! Pose it any which way, make it talk dirty to you (voice simulation sold separately), enhance any of its features to your liking, or even give it some of the wrong parts if that's what you're into, put it in a movie with a similarly rendered version of you, post that movie to the world wide web, and get your ass sued. Okay, maybe better not to post to the web, at least without a disclaimer.

But, seriously, this technology is coming, maybe not so much because of an especially deep demand for it, but because all our advances in other areas will conspire to make this one in particular simple enough to do that it will essentially sell itself. So, if you want to digitally manufacture Meg Ryan taking eight inches from behind from Tobey Maguire (there's the "enhancing" feature I told you about) or Lucy Liu lezzing out with Charlie's Angels co-stars Drew Barrymore and Cameron Diaz, or just a quiet exchange of oral sex between you and Angelina Jolie, all those fantasies will be at your fingertips. And so it is, to quote Voltaire, that we live in the best of all possible worlds.

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And as one fellow noder has just noted to me, "combine this with a AI and a sex doll and we're gold" -- and I have not yet even touched upon the advancing field of (I am not kidding, this is what they call it) dildonics.... Another writes "expect the Japanese will have this available soon" -- and another frighteningly observes " I think the true value of this program will be realized when people start inputting pictures of their fellow high school students, and people they know, rather than far off celebs"...

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